Warner Bros. and Legendary Pictures have released the first official trailer for writer/director Zack Snyder’s (Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole)  eagerly anticipated fantasy-actioner Sucker Punch. The film is headline by Emily Browning, Vanessa Hudgens, Abbie Cornish, Jaime Chung, Carla Gugino, and Jena Malone.

Peep it:

Ah, movies. They’re magic really. Cinematic voodoo capable of bedazzling our minds with a mix of story, stunts, and special effects. But, some of the biggest and most impressive F/X have nothing to do with blowing up cities or creating giant man-eating monsters.

Hollywood’s most inspired wizardry occurs on the makeup chair. That’s where they can take something that looks like this:

… and work on it for eight hours until it becomes something more penis-friendly like this:

Pretty amazing, huh?

I don’t know about you, but it’s far more important for my penis to believe a film’s heroine is totally bang-able than whether or not the werewolves in Twilight look real (they don’t). Suddenly, I feel bad about forwarding through the makeup/wardrobe awards segment during the Oscars.

To see the magic of makeup at work, check this out:

The Sucker Punch synopsis reads:

Sucker Punch is an epic action fantasy that takes us into the vivid imagination of a young girl whose dream world provides the ultimate escape from her darker reality. Unrestrained by the boundaries of time and place, she is free to go where her mind takes her, but her incredible adventures blur the lines between what’s real and what is imaginary…with potentially tragic consequences.

The film is based on an original screenplay by Zach Snyder and Steve Shibuya. It’s vagina-less costars include Scott Glenn, Jon Hamm, Michael Jai White, and Oscar Isaac.

Sucker Punch arrives in 2-D and 3-D on March 25, 2011.

A red-band trailer for Ghost House Pictures’ upcoming vampire frightener 30 Days of Night: Dark Days was premiered at Comic-Con earlier this week. The film is a direct-to-home-video sequel to David Slade’s 30 Days of Night and stars “LOST” players Kiele Sanchez and Harold Perrineau, “Vampire Diaries” alum Mia Kirshner, and Diora Baird (Night of the Demons).

Take a look:

30 Days of Night: Dark Days is directed by Ben Ketai and based on the acclaimed horror-comic created by Steve Niles and Ben Templesmith. Sanchez replaces original 30 Days of Night star Melissa George as the series lead Stella Oleson.

The official synopsis reads:

It’s been a year since the Alaskan town of Barrow’s population was decimated by vampires during its annual month long sunset. Riddled with grief over the death of her husband, bound by nightmares and void of all emotions beyond hate and sorrow, Stella has spent the past months traveling the world, trying to convince others that vampires exist.

Met with skepticism and laughter, Stella is ready to throw in the towel when a group of lost souls (Coiro, Baird and Perrineau) offers an incredible opportunity: the chance to exact revenge upon Lilith (Kirshner), the vampire queen responsible for the assault on her sleepy Alaskan town.

With nothing remaining to live for, and nothing left to fear, Stella joins their mission and ventures into the uncharted underbelly of Los Angeles where she pushes herself to the most extreme limits to stop the evil from striking again.

30 Days of Night: Dark Days costars Katie Keating (The Exorcism of Emily Rose), Monique Ganderton (Cabin in the Woods), Rhys Coiro (The Unborn), Ben Cotton (“Harper’s Island”), James Pizzinato (“Fringe”), Troy Ruptash, and Stacey Roy.

The film arrives on DVD and Blu-ray on Oct. 5.

Slade’s original 30 Days of Night is on Clatto’s list of 15 Vampire Movies That Won’t Make You Gay.

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There’s been a lot of excitement brewing over Marvel Studios’ superhero mash-up film The Avengers since Iron Man first came out in 2008 and featured Nick Fury hitting up Tony Stark to join his elite team of costumed crime fighters after the credit roll.

When geek-messiah Joss Whedon (“Buffy the Vampire Slayer”) was rumored to have signed on to direct the project, mouth-breathers everywhere high-fived their moms and eagerly awaited for the news to be confirmed and for the cast to be set.

Well, the wait is over.

Marvel announced at their Comic-Con panel last night that Whedon will indeed be behind the camera and that actor Mark Ruffalo would be replacing Edward Norton as Bruce Banner the Hulk in the film. And, that wasn’t all.

Samuel Jackson (Nick Fury) then took the stage and introduced all of the avengers: Robert Downey Jr. (Iron Man), Chris Evans (Captain America), Chris Hemsworth (Thor), Jeremy Renner (Hawkeye), Clark Gregg (SHIELD Agent Phil Coulson), and Scarlett Johansson (Black Widow).

Personally, I find this to be a pretty sorry group of superheroes. I mean Downey’s Iron Man is cool and, while I have no idea what the Black Widow’s deal is, Johansson in latex is a good thing. I’m even down with Ruffalo as the Hulk. But, what the fuck is a Hawkeye and a Nick Fury? Phil Coulson?

I must have been out getting laid when those comics came out. And, by laid I mean playing with my Star Wars action figures.

Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Peter Sarsgaard, and Blake Lively’s breasts made their way to Comic-Con this afternoon for Warner Bros. Green Lantern panel. Attendees were shown footage of the film, which is still being shot, and blah, blah, blah, green ring, blah, blah, green Zorro mask.

What stood out most about the panel was Lively’s bunched up cleavage, which clearly explains the producers decision to convert the film into fake 3-D.

Lively plays Carol Ferris, the Aerospace business woman who falls for pilot-turned-intergalatic-cop  Hal Jordan/Green Lantern (Reynolds) and goes on to become super-villain Star Sapphire. Lively’s breasts reportedly beat out Jennifer Garner, Keri Russell, Diane Kruger, and Eva Green for the role.

Green Lantern arrives in theaters on June 17, 2011.

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The Starz Network hosted a Comic-Con panel on Friday for its hit series “Spartacus: Blood and Sand.” Taking the stage were series stars Andy Whitfield, Lucy Lawless, John Hannah, Viva Bianca, and executive producer Stephen S. DeKnight.

DeKnight revealed plot points for season 2 of “Blood and Sand” (a slave revolution) and discussed the show’s spinoff series “Spartacus: Gods of the Arena.” But, what will interest stalkers fans of slave girl Laura Surrich is that the home editions of the series will feature an extended cut of her orgy scene in episode six “Delicate Things.”

DeKnight said:

The great thing about Starz is that they’ve always said, ‘We want you to tell the story you want to tell, and we’ll tell you when you’ve crossed the line.’ And the only time in season one when they told us we’d crossed the line was in episode six, when we had the orgy scene. Some of the footage was a little bit too much, but when you buy the DVD, we put it back in.

“Spartacus: Blood and Sand” debuted on Starz to over a million viewers in January, making it the network’s first major hit. The series features hyper-stylized violence, gratuitous sex, and nudity from all its major players including Lawless, Bianca, Erin Cummings, and Whitfield.

“Spartacus: Gods of the Arena” will begin shooting next month in New Zealand and premiere on Starz in January. The second season of “Spartacus: Blood and Sand” goes into production later this year.

(UPDATE: LESLEY ANN BRANDT, MARISA RAMIREZ, & JESSICA GRACE SMITH ARE YOUR NAKED SLAVE GIRLS IN SPARTACUS: GODS OF THE ARENA)

(UPDATE: CHECK OUT LAURA SURRICH’S NEW MOVIE)

In the meantime, check out Whitfield, Lawless and Bianca at Comic-Con:

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After a nerve-racking and emotionally-jarring fourth season, Showtime’s serial-killer drama “Dexter” is set to return this fall with new characters and dire developments for protagonist Dexter Morgan (Michael C. Hall). A trailer for the show’s upcoming new season was premiered this week at Comic-Con during a “Dexter” panel.

Take a look:

New faces joining the show’s fifth season include Julia Stiles (The Omen), Peter Weller (RoboCop), April Lee Hernandez (“ER”), Maria Doyle Kennedy (“The Tudors”), Johnny Lee Miller (Mindhunters), and Shawn Hatosy (Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call – New Orleans).

“Dexter” is up for multiple awards at this year’s Emmys.

Dexter Morgan is listed as one of Clatto’s 12 Heroes in Horror/Sci-fi That Won’t Make You Feel Like an Asshole.

Universal Pictures abducted sci-fi fans from the Comic-Con floor yesterday for a panel on directors Colin and Greg Strause’s (Aliens Vs. Predator: Requium) upcoming alien-invasion frightener Skyline. Joining the brothers onstage were starlets Brittany Daniel and Scottie Thompson, David Zayas (of “Dexter” fame), Eric Balfour, and Donald Faison (aka: “Scrubs” brown bear).

Skyline revolves around a group of friends who after a night of drunken debauchery awaken to find bright blue lights shining down from the sky and sucking up all who look up into them.

The film is set in Los Angeles and was shot with a crew of 20 people utilizing Red One cameras, which provide the quality of 35mm film with the convenience of digital technology. Despite being produced as an indie, Skyline’s F/X are top-notch as they were created by the Strause brothers’ very own effects shop Hydraulx, which has produced computer-generated magic for 65 films including Avatar, Iron Man 2, and 2012.

Skyline also stars Crystal Reed from MTV’s upcoming “Teen Wolf” reboot and Urban Legends: Bloody Mary lead  Kate Mara.

Look for it in theaters on Nov. 12, 2010.

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Summit Entertainment hosted a Comic-Con panel today for director Patrick Lussier’s (My Bloody Valentine 3-D) supernatural road-rager Drive Angry 3-D. Joining Lussier on the stage were actors Nicholas Cage, William Fichtner, and blonde babe Amber Heard.

Drive Angry follows Milton (Cage), a damned soul, as he escapes hell to embark on a quest to run down the cult that murdered his daughter and abducted his grandchild for sacrifice. On the run from the police and Satan’s own bounty hunter (Fichtner), Milton is aided on his revenge mission by lost-soul waitress Piper (Heard).

The film, which was shot with 3-D cams (no post conversion here), wrapped two months ago and marks Cage’s first foray into the format, which the actor welcomed as an opportunity to amp up his physical performance.

Said Cage:

How could I mess with the camera. What moves could I do that would go into the 4th row of the audience? That’s what I was trying to see.

Lussier told Comic-Con attendees that the film was inspired by action films of the ’60s and ’70s including Bullitt and Vanishing Point. The director also revealed that the title was taken from a line of dialogue in the highly overrated 1993 Bill Murray comedy Groundhog Day.

I'm still a prickly pear!

Drive Angry 3-D costars Billy Burke (Twilight Saga), David Morse (Disturbia), Charlotte Ross (“NYPD Blue”), Katy Mixon (The Quiet), Bryan Massey (Boggy Creek), Pruitt Taylor Vince (Captivity), Wanetah Walmsley (Vampires Suck), and Playboy model Christa Campbell (2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams).

Look for it in theaters on Feb 11, 2011.

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Director Robert Rodriguez has unleashed a “gut-ripping” red-band trailer for his grindhouse-y revenge-thriller Machete. The gleefully violent clip provides a glimpse of the film’s all-star cast including Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Robert De Niro, Steven Seagal, Cheech Marin, Jeff Fahey, and the hardest working Mexi-can in all of Hollywood Danny Trejo.

The trailer also features some boner-inducing nudity from someone who looks a lot like Elise or Electra Avellan. Despite jerking off to watching the damn thing over 50 times , I can’t quite tell if its one of the sisters, a body double (though face & boobs are in same shot), or a different actress all together.

What do you vatos think:

Looks like its game over for the world’s most successful and best horror movie franchise.

Saw producers Oren Koules and Mark Burg are expected to announce today at Comic-Con that Saw 3-D, the seventh chapter in the Jigsaw saga, will be the last film in the innovative horror series.

Peep the first teaser trailer (courtesy of IGN):

But, it’s not all sad news.

Guinness World Records editor-in-chief Craig Glenday will be on hand tonight to officially name Saw as the Most Successful Horror Movie Series. To date, the Saw films have earned $732 million in global box office sales.

Come Halloween, you can add my $15 to that total. Saw remains one of the very few horror series that delivers on both story and brutality. I can’t wait for the reboot!

Saw 3-D is directed by Kevin Greutert (Saw 6) and was shot in authentic 3-D. The film stars the great Tobin Bell (John Kramer/Jigsaw), Costas Mandylor (Det. Hoffman), Betsy Russell (Jill Tuck), genre babe Gina Holden (Final Destination 3) and original Saw player Cary Elwes, reprising his role as Dr. Lawrence Gordon.

Costarring are Sean Patrick Flanery (Mongolian Death Worm), Chad Donella (Final Destination), Laurence Anthony, Dean Armstrong (Repo! The Genetic Opera), Naomi Sniekus, and which ever aspiring actress won VH1’s “Scream Queens 2” reality competition.

Saw 3-D arrives in theaters on Oct. 29.

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