Ah, Thanksgiving. The time of year when we all get together with family and give thanks that we got the fuck away when we did. So what if we had to do questionable things in truck stop bathrooms to get by. The point is we got out! It is in that spirit that I present to you Clatto’s Top 5 Diabolical Dinner Parties:

5. DEAD ALIVE – “CUSTARD WITH MUM”

Oscar-winner Peter Jackson is revered by the masses as the esteemed director of The Lord of the Rings, King Kong, and The Lovely Bones. But, to gore-geeks, he is the twisted fuck behind such over-the-top gross-out fare as Bad Taste, Meet the Feebles, and the 1992 zombie-themed cult-fav Dead Alive. The “Custard with Mum” scene (as I call it) finds our protagonist Lionel Cosgrove hosting supper with his “rat-monkey” virus infected mother (Elizabeth Moody).

4. ROPE – “LATE FOR DINNER”

Horror legend Alfred Hitchcock didn’t need gore to disturb audiences. Loosely based on a true story, 1948’s Rope centers on two well-to-do University students in Manhattan who decide to murder their classmate named David just to see if they can get away with it.  But, the diabolical due don’t stop there. They stuff the dead body into an antique wooden chest, drape it over with a tablecloth, set candles and appetizers on top of it, and invite the deceased’s friends and family over for a dinner party! Watching the guests ask “where’s David” throughout the film always triggers groans and head shakes from viewers.

3. APOCALYPTO – “WOULD YOU LIKE BALLS WITH THAT?”

Know that feeling of dread you get around the dinner table when everyone is digging into some pumpkin pie, but your wife has set aside some low-carb, sugar-free bowl of sawdust for you to eat because you’ve gained a few too many pounds and could fall into a diabetic coma at any minute? That’s kind of what happens to Blunted when his tribe is divvying up their tapir dinner at the beginning of Mel Gibson’s Apocalypto. As the only male in the group to not have produced offspring, he’s told he must eat balls if he wants to be fertile. Of course, the whole thing is one big joke. Sound familiar, fat boy?

2. TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE – “IT’S ALL RELATIVE”

Marilyn Burns (Helter Skelter) is the guest of honor in Tobe Hooper’s classic 1974 cannibal horror-fest The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Memorable for its numerous scenes of brutality, the dinner table finale ranks as one of the most disturbing and surreal moments in horror cinema. The unrelenting torment Burn’s character Sally suffers through works on our nerves so thoroughly it induces some serious asshole-clenching fright. Kinda like my brother’s vegan wife’s tofu dishes.

1. ALIVE – “SO, WHAT’S FOR DINNER?”

Director Frank Marshall’s 1993 film Alive tells the true tragic tale of the 1972 Andes flight disaster that forced survivors to eat their dead to stay (say it with me) alive! The acting in the flick is a little stiff … but, when you realize that this really happened, it makes it the most diabolical dinner party ever. The only thing worse would be to have to eat vegetables.

And, don’t forget to check out these lists:

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The 20 Hottest Women Working in Horror/Sci-Fi Today: Part One (#20-thru-#11)

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The 10 Hottest Horror/Sci-Fi Babes of the Past Decade

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