I’ve never been much of a sports fan, but I do like cheerleaders … and dinosaurs. So imagine my delight when I came across the following clip of the Toronto Raptors’ mascot devouring a tasty little blonde cheerleader.
Check it:
Gwyneth Paltrow is the latest high-profile actor to join the all-star cast of Oscar-winning director Steven Soderbergh’s upcoming viral outbreak thriller Contagion. Joining Paltrow on the marquee are Kate Winslet, Marion Cotillard, Jude Law, and Soderbergh go-to-guy Matt Damon.
Contagion will center on the outbreak of a deadly virus and the global aftermath that ensues. The film’s narrative will reportedly share a similar structure to Soderbergh’s Traffic, presenting various character story arcs that will eventually cross. Scott Z. Burns (The Bourne Ultimatum) is penning the script.
Soderbergh claims Contagion was inspired by the swine flu epidemic … yeah, that, or the various STDs floating around his penis every time he put it inside his Girlfriend Experience star Sasha Grey.
Gorgeous British actress/glamor model Gemma Atkinson is finally dipping her pretty pedicured toes (what? I notice these things) into the horror pool with a lead role in Eyeline Entertainment’s upcoming werewolf frightener 13HRS.
According to director Jonathan Glendening (S.N.U.B!), the film showcases Atkinson’s and her jaw-dropping 34E chest in traditional horror fashion.
He tells the Daily Star Sunday:
It’s a horror movie staple to have an incredibly sexy woman pursued by a terrifying beast. Gemma fulfils this role more than adequately. She’s wearing a mini-skirt, blue blouse and stilettos during the whole movie because it’s set over one night. She’s very sexy – I’m a big fan. She surprised me, to be honest – she was superb. This could be the start of a stellar acting career.
Atkinson, who starred on the British teen-soap Hollyoaks and its two spinoffs, is eager to leave modeling behind to focus on a career in film. The 25-year-old stunner has been taking drama and voice classes to better prepare for the endeavor.
She tells The Argus:
I did the modelling for about three years, but acting is what I really want to do. It was really scary at first because modelling was what I’d become known for. It kind of took over the Hollyoaks role, so I’ve been really lucky to get back to Gemma Atkinson, actress.
Atkinson goes on to describe her experience in 13HRS as hard work and is thrilled to learn that the film will finally make its way into theaters later this year (the movie wrapped a year ago).
The film’s official synopsis reads:
A full moon hangs in the night sky, and lightning streaks across dark storm clouds. Sarah Tyler (Calthorpe) returns to her troubled family home in the isolated countryside for a much put-off visit. As the storm rages on, Sarah, her family, and friends shore up for the night, cut off from the outside world. But something comes out of the driving rain and darkness. Something that holds a dark secret so devastating that, in one night, it could wipe out the entire family.
Trapped, Sarah and her brothers and friends must use their heads as well as their physical strength to survive not only the thing that is hunting them down one by one – but their own entrapment as the besieged group turns in on itself. Can they survive the horror stalking them? Or is their enemy already amongst them, and has it always been? Can they survive for 13 hours?
13HRS is slated for release this summer. Co-stars include hottie Isabella Calthorpe, Simon MacCorkindale (“Poltergeist: The Legacy”), John Lynch (Black Death), Sue Scadding (Witchcraft X: Mistress of the Craft), and Tom Felton of Harry Potter fame.
OK, I think that’s enough words to justify the following photos of Atkinson in lingerie:
Krokus is back!
I was in junior high when I first listened to Krokus’ Headhunter and, to this day, it remains on one of my go-to discs when I’m barreling down the freeway at 135 miles an hour, downing a bottle of Level One vodka and texting my friends.
The Swiss metal band’s original ’80s lineup has reunited for their upcoming brand new CD Hoodoo, available on Feb. 26.
A video for its first single “Hoodoo Woman” has been released and it’s surprisingly good. The video features all the necessary ingredients for a classic metal video: hot evil chick, hot abducted chick, skulls, and mullets.
Check it out:
The CW announced today early renewals for its popular horror-themed television shows “The Vampire Diaries” and “Supernatural.” Both series perform phenomenally well with horny women ages 18-to-34, giving the network its highest ratings.
(UPDATE: Want to meet the cast of “The Vampire Diaries” at Paleyfest 2010? Go here for more info)
The following is the CW’s official press release:
The series receiving early renewals include this season’s breakout hit THE VAMPIRE DIARIES, The CW’s most-watched show (4.6 million viewers) and the network’s number one show among adults 18-34 (2.5/8).
THE VAMPIRE DIARIES premiere generated the largest audience in network history for a series debut (5.7 million total viewers). THE VAMPIRE DIARIES has improved The CW’s performance Thursday at 8:00 p.m. by 114% among women 18-34 this season.
The network also renewed fan favorite SUPERNATURAL, which will enter its sixth season next year. SUPERNATURAL has one of the most loyal audiences of any show on television and does heroic work in a perennially tough time period. It has improved over last season among women and adults 18-34 (29% and 8%, respectively) this season, a remarkable accomplishment for a fifth-year show.
“The Vampire Diaries” stars Nina Dobrev, Paul Wesley, and Ian Somerhalder, known to those of us without vaginas as Boone on ABC’s “LOST.” Created by Kevin Williamson, producer of “Dawson’s Creek” and the scribe behind the innovative Scream films, “Diaries” follows a high school girl’s complicated love triangle with two vampire suitors … who happen to be brothers.
To see photos of the cast’s recent meet-and-greet with fans in Los Angeles, click here.
“The Vampire Diaries” and “Supernatural” both picked up People’s Choice awards this year for Favorite New TV Drama and Favorite Sci-Fi/Fantasy Show, respectively.
Alessandra Torresani is the 22-year-old star of the Syfy network’s new “Battlestar Galactica” spinoff series “Caprica.” She’s also kind of a nut. But that’s to be expected when your parents pimp you out as a child-stripper-whore to close business deals with Asian clients.
(See Alessandra dance in sexy video here)
In an interview with Wired, she reveals:
I made my mom buy me lingerie when I was 5 years old. I was a sicko. My mother must have been mortified.
When I was 6, my dad had this huge business meeting, millionaire Asian businessmen came over to our house. I dressed up in this sexy bra, this big fur hat, the red lips, the fake eye lashes. I had my mom go, “Would you please join us in the living room?” and there I was laying on top of the baby grand piano and my 6-year-old neighbor Thomas started playing “Hello Dolly” and I started singing and lifting my legs, doing these kicks.
Then I’d go around and sit on the men’s laps. Let me tell you, my dad closed every deal because of that — these men were fascinated that this little girl came out of this guy and this woman. It was the funniest thing.
Yes, funny in a creepy, most likely illegal, definitely immoral, way.
Torresani’s parents make actress Thora Birch’s folks look like the damn Cleavers. What’s the deal with these Hollywood families? Oh, well, I think it was Michael Jackson who once said, “If they’re old enough to crawl, they’re already in the right position.”
Man, this chick just looks crazy.
Torresani plays Zoe Graystone, the 16-year-old daughter of Cylon creator Daniel Graystone, on the program, airing Friday nights on SyFy.
Paris Hilton (House of Wax, Repo! The Genetic Opera) was in Rio de Janeiro over the weekend to partake in the city’s Carnaval festivities and to promote Devassa beer. Now, I don’t know what they put in that Brazilian brew, but Hilton is looking quite busty in the photos that have surfaced.
Here’s hoping she eats a few more burritos to plump up her backside too.
Check out the pics:
The Twilight Saga star Robert Pattinson announces in the March issue of Details magazine (available Feb. 23) that he has a strong aversion to vaginas. In the interview, the 23-year-old cock-gobbler actor complains about having to be stuck at a photo shoot with nude fashion models.
He says:
I really hate vaginas. I’m allergic to vagina. But I can’t say I had no idea, because it was a 12-hour shoot, so you kind of get the picture that these women are going to stay naked after, like, five or six hours. But I wasn’t exactly prepared. I had no idea what to say to these girls. Thank God I was hungover.
In related news, millions of tween girls have now sewn up their pussies and are waiting to die.
Vaginas. Why did it have to be vaginas?
I do wonder, however, if Pattinson has always hated vaginas or was it Kristen Stewart’s baby-hole that has him running scared? Judging from her slovenly appearance in media photos, I imagine she has Buckwheat in a headlock down there.
Check out the following pictures of Pattinson and the offending vaginas:
Is busty actress Thora Birch a part-time prostitute in real life? An interesting blind item (translation: unconfirmed gossip) circulating the web seems to think so.
The rumor (originally posted on CDaN) hints:
This Golden Globe nominee/winner actress is probably C list. Despite the Golden Globe nod and being in one of the more famous movies of the past 20 years, she doesn’t get much attention. She does however have a very, very kinky sex life. She has been known to hire herself out as an escort for the night. She doesn’t do it for money. She does it for the thrill. She uses different photos in her ad and will throw on a wig when she goes to see the client. It probably would have stayed a secret except her loser ex-boyfriend who she supported has a big mouth.
According to those speculating on the site’s message board, the actress in question is most likely 27-year-old American Beauty starlet Thora Birch. The fact that TMZ hasn’t broke this story makes me think it’s crap, but the idea that Birch is renting out those fun bags is just too awesome to not jerk-of to think about.
American Beauties
Birch, whose parents were porn star degenerates during the ’70s (among their credits: Deep Throat), was nominated for a Golden Globe award for her performance in the 2001 dramedy Ghost World, costarring Scarlett Johansson. Since then, she has been slumming it in the straight-to-DVD market, appearing in Dark Corners, Train and the Brittany Murphy vehicle Deadline.
A 2007 Celebrity Gossip report provides a stroke-worthy disturbing aside to this story:
The American Beauty star was filming “The Winter of Frozen Dreams” when manager/father Jack Birch insisted on watching the filming of her sex scenes with Dean Winters. Even though it is industry standard to only film sex scenes on a closed set, Birch Sr. demanded to be present during the “getting freaky” times. Apparently the crew on the set was absolutely horrified. “It was so wrong,” said one insider. “The director is saying, ‘Harder! Faster!’ and the father is giving Winters the thumbs up.
Hmm. Questionable parenting. Career in the dumps. Could this story be true?
(UPDATE: THORA BIRCH IS PROBABLY FUCKING HER CREEPY MANAGER DAD)
Jedi and padawans engaged in a lightsaber battle royal this weekend at the Bristols Cabot Circus mall in Bristol, England. The event drew over 100 ____ (pick one: A. Virgins B. Misfits C. Super lucky Star Wars fans).
Check out the action:
This just looks like a freaking blast to me. Sadly, the British wankers participating are about as vicious as a group of nerf-herders. If I had been there, I would have totally unleashed Order 66 on their limey asses.
Want more Star Wars fun? Check out these Star Wars Strippers or learn about weather conditions in the SW galaxy here.