British actress Gemma Arterton was recently photographed in a bikini while on holiday at the beach. The 24-year old starlet caught some sun and fun on a boat with a guy who isn’t nearly as cool as you.

But, don’t feel bad.

Chances are she spent all day talking about her work in Clash of the Titans and Prince of Persia: Sands of Time—just going on-and-on about Sam Worthington’s rugged good looks and Jake Gyllenhaal’s hair.

Who am I kidding? That dude totally got some Arterton nookie … and by nookie I mean anal sex and the kind of sexual high jinks seen in her erotically-charged abduction thriller The Disappearance of Alice Creed.

It’s OK. Go on and cry over the photos:

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Mexican actress Patty Navidad is best known in Latin America for her starring roles in a string of Spanish soaps including “La Fea Mas Bella,” which was adapted for American TV as ABC’s half-hour comedy “Ugly Betty.”

So, what is she doing on your beloved Clatto?

Well, aside from the fact that many of these posts are written by my penis (it majored in English Lit at UCLA), Navidad starred in an episode of Univison’s “Mujeres Asesinas,” Mexican producer Pedro Torres procedural about bloodthirsty, homicidal women that kill over feelings of scorn, jealousy, greed, fear, and/or pure evil.

A cross between “Desperate Housewives” and “CSI,” the show is on its second season and features many of Latin America’s sexiest starlets.

Navidad (which translates to mean Christmas) is featured in the September issue of H: Para Hombres magazine. Below, you’ll find some of the more provocative shots from the layout.

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Indie starlet Olivia Thirlby has been booked to star in director Pete Travis’ (Vantage Point) adaptation of the U.K.’s Judge Dredd comic series. Thirlby will play Dredd’s telepathic rookie partner Judge Cassandra Anderson.

The film—entitled Dredd—stars Karl Urban in the titular role and is written by Alex Garland (28 Days Later). Unlike the 1995 Sly Stallone vehicle, Dredd aims to be grittier and more faithful to the source material.

The official synopsis reads:

DREDD takes us to the wild streets of Mega City One, the lone oasis of quasi-civilization on Cursed Earth. Judge Dredd (Karl Urban) is the most feared of elite Street Judges, with the power to enforce the law, sentence offenders and execute them on the spot – if necessary.

The endlessly inventive mind of writer Alex Garland and the frenetic vision of director Pete Travis bring DREDD to life as a futuristic neo-noir action film that returns the celebrated character to the dark, visceral incarnation from John Wagner and Carlos Ezquerra’s revered comic strip.

Dredd is budgeted at $45 million and will be shot in 3D. Cameras are set to roll later this year in South Africa.

Thirlby also stars in producer Timur Bekmambetov sci-fi thriller The Darkest Hour.

A gleefully gory and just plain fucked up trailer for newcomer Jason Eisener’s eagerly anticipated bloodbath actioner Hobo with a Shotgun has hit the web. The film stars iconic mofo Rutger Hauer as a homeless Travis Bickle-type out to wash the trash off the sidewalk with some buckshot.

Take a look, scumbags:

The film’s synopsis reads:

A vigilante homeless man pulls into a new city and finds himself trapped in urban chaos, a city where crime rules and where the city’s crime boss reigns.

Seeing an urban landscape filled with armed robbers, corrupt cops, abused prostitutes and even a pedophile Santa, the Hobo goes about bringing justice to the city the best way he knows how – with a 20-gauge shotgun.

Mayhem ensues when he tries to make things better for the future generation. Street justice will indeed prevail.

Like Robert Rodriguez’s Machete, Hobo with a Shotgun was first produced as a faux-trailer in 2007 by Eisener for a SXSW competition held to promote Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino’s collaborate effort Grindhouse.

Warner Bros. have released the first images from director Chris Peckover’s timely and sure-to-be controversial thriller Undocumented. Written by Peckover and Joe Peterson, the film follows a group of young filmmakers forced to document the torture and murder of the captured immigrants by a group of vigilante “patriots” in New Mexico.

The film stars Alona Tal (Night of the Living Dead: Origins 3-D), Scott Mechlowicz (Mean Creek), Kevin Weisman (“Alias”), Greg Serano (“Scoundrels”), Yancey Arias (Legion), Noah Segan (Chain Letter), and Nicholas Tucci (Choose).

I was fortunate enough to have crashed a screening of Undocumented back in December. While the film has the potential to make Arizona governor Jan Brewer and her supporters wet, most moviegoers will be horrified by the film’s premise, enthralled by its execution, and thrilled by the performances.

To read my spoiler-free review, click here.

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“Dexter” star Michael C. Hall was photographed this week while filming what appears to be a sleight-of-hand scene for the critically acclaimed Showtime series. The action takes place at a beach side hotel in Miami and finds Dexter attempting to distract a fed’s attention from a black luggage bag.

Unfortunately, the actor playing the fed does not have a vagina and, therefore, makes it difficult for me to feel motivated enough to put in the research time to identify him. But, hey, he looks like fine thespian.

“Dexter” returns this fall for season 5 with plenty of new faces including Julia Stiles (The Omen), Peter Weller (RoboCop), April Lee Hernandez (”ER”), Maria Doyle Kennedy (”The Tudors”), Johnny Lee Miller (Mindhunters), and Shawn Hatosy (Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call – New Orleans).

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The world premiere of Fox Searchlight Pictures’ supernatural thriller Black Swan was held yesterday at the Sala Grande Palazzo Del Cinema during the opening ceremony of the 67th Venice Film Festival. Director Darren Aronofsky was joined on the red carpet by headliner Natalie Portman and costars Vincent Cassel and Ksenia Solo.

Mila Kunis, Winona Ryder, Sebastian Stan, and Kristina Anapau apparently did not make the shindig.

Those who were on hand to kick off the festivities were festival jury member Quentin Tarantino and Italian actresses Margareth Made, Violante Placido, Jo Champa, Matilde Brandi, Isabella Ragonese, and drop-dead gorgeous Manuela Arcuri (see gallery).

Zimbio has a large gallery, but I discarded the ugly ducklings for your viewing pleasure:

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Spike TV has announced its nominees for the 5th annual Scream Awards, to be held on Oct. 16 at the Greek Theater in Los Angeles. The ceremony celebrates the best in horror, sci-fi, and fantasy released between July 16, 2009 and July 16, 2010. Along with conventional categories such as Best Horror Film and Best Villain, the show also honors the year’s Most Memorable Mutilation, Best Fight, and Holy Shit! Scene.

Films nominated this year include Inception, Avatar, Predators, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Paranormal Activity, District 9, The Crazies, Kick Ass, and Zombieland. TV noms went to “LOST,” “True Blood,” “Dexter,” “Dr. Who,” and “V.”

Best Horror Actress noms went to Julie Benz for “Dexter,” Emily Blunt for The Wolfman, Emma Stone for Zombieland, Milla Jovovich for The Fourth Kind, Charlotte Gainsbourg  for Antichrist, and Anna Paquin for “True Blood.”

The Best Villain category holds some of the year’s most memorable performances. The nominees include Oscar-winning actor Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy Kruger, Emmy-winner John Lithgow as the Trinity Killer on “Dexter,” Mickey Rourke as Whiplash in Iron Man 2, Stephen Lang as Col. Miles Quaritch in Avatar, Emmy-winner Terry O’Quinn as John Locke/Smoke Monster on “LOST,” and Dieter Laser as Dr. Joseph Heiter in the year’s most outrageous film The Human Centipede.

The nominees were chosen by an advisory board that included such noted genre figures as Wes Craven, Ridley Scott, John Carpenter, Tim Burton, Quentin Tarantino, Damon Lindelof, Joss Whedon, and Eli Roth.

Fans can vote on all 30 categories by visiting SpikeTV.com. Voting will be open up until Oct. 15.

Spike TV will air The 5th Annual Scream Awards on October 19 (9:00–11:00 PM, ET/PT).

It was a pleasant surprise for my penis to see former “Angel” and “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” star Charisma Carpenter pop up in an episode of “Legend of the Seeker” last year and again this summer in Sly Stallone’s must-see shoot’em up The Expendables. But, it was an absolute shock for it to discover that the pretty Las Vegas native turned 40 in July.

Carpenter—who still rocks a 23-year-old’s body—appears to be on the comeback trail. The doe-eyed starlet is set to headline director Jason Bourque’s survival-frightener Crash Site. Principle photography is already underway in Vancouver.

Crash Site stars Carpenter and Ty Olsson (Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem) as a vacationing couple stranded deep in the woods after an automobile accident. The duo must survive the elements to make it back to civilization.

Carpenter can also be seen in the upcoming straight-to-DVD British horror film Psychosis. The film is said to feature Carpenter in violent sex scenes (I will investigate this immediately).

Actress Julianne Moore (Hannibal) has never been shy about showing off her body, but the 50-year-old cougar really appears to be stepping up her T&A game lately. Aside from her recent nude lesbian romp with Amanda Seyfried in the psychological-thriller Chloe, Moore is now raising temperatures in Venice, Italy with a sexy marketing campaign for jewelery and fashion giant Bulgari.

The ads, featuring Moore’s nude body tactfully covered by a handbag and lion cubs, were set to be displayed on billboards in the city’s famous St. Mark’s Square, but have now  been banned by Venice mayor Giorgio Orsoni.

Said Orsoni:

I take account of the fact that Venice is part of the real word…but we cannot accept these Hollywood-style images. There are intelligent sponsors, and we need to come up with advertising that suits Venice, not Times Square.

Bulgari will now put up billboards featuring Moore in more conservative poses (not pictured here).

Ever wonder why so many actresses start to go nude more frequently as they get older? The answer is simple: Like wine, low self esteem only gets better with age.

When a Hollywood starlet is in her 20’s, she can get away with rocking a bikini or employing body doubles for a role. But after 30, competition for the media spotlight gets fierce. Despite box office success and/or critical accolades, an actress’s insecurity can get the better of her, leading to more stroke-worthy career decisions.

Like Lucy Lawless, Monica Belluci, and Marisa Tomei, Moore continues to use her sex appeal to compliment her acting chops and show-up her younger peers. You gotta love that!