“Mad Men” hottie January Jones celebrates her 33rd birthday today, but it’s fans of scantily clad superheroines that will be dancing in the streets. In an interview with Hero Complex, the X-Men: First Class star confirmed that her Emma Frost wardrobe is—despite what leaked on-the-set photos may suggest—on the revealing side.
She says:
The costumes are insane. It’s a lot of very body-conscious stuff. If you look at the comic book, she’s barely dressed. She’s got quite the bod, which is very intimidating.
I’m a petite person, so I didn’t want to go into a strict workout and eating regime. I would have disappeared entirely, and she’s very busty, very voluptuous, so I didn’t want to get rid of any of my curves.
I don’t know about you, but my penis just breathed a sigh of relief.
Jones, who beat out British babe Alice Eve for the role, is part of a cast that includes James McAvoy as Charles Xavier, Michael Fassbender as Magneto, Kevin Bacon as Sebastian Shaw, Rose Byrne as Moira, and Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique.
X-Men: First Class is an origins story directed by Mathew Vaughn (Kick Ass) for 20th Century Fox. The film will be in theaters on June 3.
British actress Gemma Arterton is set to star opposite Jeremy Renner in director Tommy Wirkola’s Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, a flash forward of the classic fairy tale that finds the duo hunting down supernatural forces for profit.
After Dark Originals has unleashed a stroke-worthy one-sheet (pictured above) for director Steven C. Miller’s (Automaton Transfusion) man-eater frightener Scream of the Banshee. The film is headlined by genre vet Lance Henriksen and sexy “Picket Fences” and Dumb and Dumber babe Lauren Holly.
The film’s synopsis reads:
When a college professor (Holly) opens up a strange, ornate box discovered in the basement of a University, she and her students hear a horrifying scream belonging to that of a bloodthirsty banshee. They think nothing of it until that scream begins to haunt all that heard it in strange and surreal ways.
According to Irish lore, if you hear a Banshee scream, you will die – which is what starts happening to them one by one, as the creature starts taking their lives…
Sounds cool, but I’m in for Lauren Holly. She makes me desperately want to make love to a schoolboy.
Scream of the Banshee costars Monica Acosta, Leanne Cochran, Todd Haberkorn, Marcelle Baer, Eric F. Adams, Garrett Hines, Don Lincoln, and identical twin hotties Kim and Misty Ormiston.
Starz has released a series of trailers to promote their new “Spartacus: Blood and Sand” six-part prequel series “Spartacus: Gods of the Arena,” premiering Jan. 21. From the looks of it, there will be more blood, more sand, and—most importantly—more naked slave girls.
South African model-turned-actress Lesley Ann Brandt reprises her role as slave Naevia and is joined by insanely hot newcomers Jessica Grace Smith (Diona) and Marisa Ramirez (Melitta). If producers have Laura Surrich hiding in the bathhouse somewhere, this could live up to be the most stroke-worthy spin-off in TV history.
Ramirez (pictured above) is best know for her roles on “General Hospital” and “The Young and the Restless,” but has also starred in the 2005 frightener All Souls Day: Dia De Los Muertos and had appearances on the televison shows “Supernatural,” “Castle,” and “Roswell.” Newbie Smith costarred with Surrich in the indie horror-comedy Diagnosis: Death.
“Spartacus: Gods of the Arena” follows the House of Batiatus as it strives to make a name for itself. Aussie actor Dustin Clare heads the casts as the gladiator Gannicus, and is joined by “Dexter’s” Jaime Murray and returning faces Lucy Lawless (Lucretia), John Hannah (Batiatus), Peter Mensah (Oenomaus), Nick E. Tarabay (Ashur), and Manu Bennett (Crixus).
“Spartacus: Blood and Sand” debuted last January to over a million viewers, making it the Starz network’s most watched program. A second season of the Sam Raimi-produced series is slated to air later this fall. “Gods of the Arena” was meant to buy “Spartacus” lead Andy Whitfield some time to recover from his bout with Stage 1 non-Hodgkin lymphoma. However, the 36-year-old actor has stepped down from the role.
Looks like Bollywood starlet Mallika Sherawat won’t be charming our trouser snakes anytime soon. The gorgeous 33-year-old actress’ hypnotic portrayal of a half-woman/half-snake creature known in Eastern folklore as the Nagin remains, at the moment, for Indian eyes only thanks to Hisss producers.
Hisss was taken away from me in the edit. I have no idea what the film looks like. I came close to a directors’ cut, which Mallika, Venus and producers (Govind Menon and Vikram Singh) referred to as ‘European, languid and sensual’ all the things I thought were compliments.
Apparently, that did not make them happy. I have no idea what is out there. They took the songs out; they wanted more horror. Good or bad, I cannot take credit for it. Aside from shots and performances that I pray have not been butchered.
Lynch (daughter of David Lynch) made her directorial debut in 1993 with the outrageous psychological drama Boxing Helena. The film, which centered on a surgeon so consumed with a woman that he amputates her limbs to keep her from leaving him, was severely panned by critics and caused a shit-storm of outrage from the National Organization of Women.
Lynch, then 25, embarked on a self-imposed 15-year hiatus that came to an end with the release of her sophomore effort Surveillance in 2008. Yup. Hisss is her third film.
“FlashForward” and “Mad Men” star Peyton List has been cast in director Chris Fisher’s long-delayed adaptation of author Thomas Berger’s 1992 novel Meeting Evil. She joins a cast that includes Samuel Jackson, Luke Wilson, and Leslie Bibb.
John Felton (Wilson) meets evil late one Monday morning when the doorbell rings. Standing on the front porch is a stranger. He wears expensive running shoes and a baseball cap and calls himself Richie (Jackson).
He tells John his car has stalled and asks for help. An altercation at the gas station leads to a shocking crime as violence begets violence. At the end of this harrowing day, John returns home to find Richie ensconced in his living room, chatting up his wife (Bibb).
The evil has somehow seeped into his life. Thus begins the transformation of an unremarkable husband and father of two into a desperate man willing to go to any length to protect his family from the darkness that threatens them.
List played 19-year-old student/babysitter Nicole Kirby on ABC’s short-lived sci-fi show”FlashForward,” but is perhaps best known for her role as home-wrecker Jane Sterling on AMC’s Emmy award-winning series “Mad Men.”
Meeting Evil is set to shoot in New Orleans on Jan. 8. Fisher’s directing creds include the Donnie Darko sequel S. Darko and serial killer indies Nightstalker and Rampage: The Hillside Strangler Murders.
Echo Lake has released the first full-length trailer for John Carpenter’s upcoming all-girl madhouse thriller The Ward. The footage reveal headliner Amber Heard in pivotal scenes involving fire, ghosts and nude showers with sexy costars.
Peep it:
The Ward marks Carpenter’s return to the big screen since 2001’s Ghosts of Mars. The film costars Danielle Panabaker (The Crazies), Lyndsy Fonseca (“Nikita”), Mamie Gummer (“The Good Wife”), Jillian Kramer (The Big Bang), Mika Boorem (Kiss the Girls), and Jared Harris (Resident Evil: Apocalypse), Sali Sayer, and Laura-Leigh.
By Eddie Muertos on January 1st, 2011 at 11:27 pm
Category: Lists /
Tag: Sex /
2 comments
Happy New Year, degenerates!
If you’ve been surfing the websites for anything other than interracial porn over the holidays, you’ve probably seen a shitload of best-and-worst lists. Some of the more creative fright sites may have given you a countdown of the year’s best kills or a rundown of Christmas themed slashers. Well, at Clatto, we like to focus on the romantic side of horror.
The following is our list of The Ten Sexiest Horror Films of 2010 (Be sure to peep our 2012 and 2011 lists too)
Enjoy:
10. SPLICE
Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley starred as ethically-compromised geneticists who successfully splice human and animal DNA to create a hybrid female named Dren in director Vincenzo Nataliand producer Guillermo del Toro’s sci-fi creature-feature Splice.
Played by beautiful 32-year-old French actress Delphine Chanéac, Dren grows to become a bird-like creature with retractable wings, a long pointed tail, and small, supple Euro breasts.
The need to mate soon overcomes her and she sets out to seduce her “father” Dr. Clive Kast (Brody) in the film’s most disturbing—and oddly stroke-worthy—sex scene.
After.Life found pint-sized hottie Christina Ricci playing the victim of an automobile accident who awakens to find that she is being prepped for burial by a mysterious mortician determined to make her see that she has crossed over to the beyond.
Ricci, who has gone nude in Black Snake Moan and Monster, once again drops trou (well … really a slinky, little red slip) in the film, reminding us that good things do indeed come in small packages.
8. THE DISAPPEARANCE OF ALICE CREEED
British actress Gemma Arterton told GQ magazine back in March that the reason she had taken the role of Alice Creed in this low-budget abduction thriller was because she was drawn to its violence and nudity. Not surprisingly, so were we.
Along with the hypnotic swing of Arterton’s nude and natural boobs, what made this movie hot was the fact that Arterton—who had starred last year in Disney’s Prince of Persia and Warner Bros. Clash of the Titans—had already achieved the kind of Hollywood success that usually prevents attractive starlets from going nude, but here she is:
7. THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE
Because sometimes a naked girl just isn’t enough, director Tom Six’s outrageous mad-doc thriller The Human Centipede crawls into our list of stroke-worthy genre fare. The film stars pretty newcomers Ashlynn Yennie and Ashley C. Williams as unfortunate American tourists abducted by an evil German scientist hell-bent on sewing them together mouth-to-anus.
If that premise doesn’t make you horny, you’re probably a healthy individual who should not be reading this blog.
For the rest of us sick freaks, The Human Centipede was the first film in horror history to earn the often ill and overused tag of torture porn. Added kink: the human centipede’s head is a Japanese male (of course) who eventually must evacuate his bowels into Williams’ mouth.
While the scatological shenanigans may not be everyone’s cup-of-tea, the torment and tears on Williams and Yennie’s faces will prove genuinely moving for penises raised on Max Hardcore smut.
6. ANTICHRIST
Danish director/degenerate Lars von Trier’s gruesome arthouse shocker Antichrist is loaded with plenty of genuinely disturbing moments, mostly involving genital mutilations, bloody ejaculations, and Willem Dafoe’s face.
Those who can stomach it are rewarded with full-frontal nudity from 39-year-old French actress Charlotte Gainsbourg. A skillful eye and quick remote finger will also help viewers at home catch a glimpse of Gainsbourg’s balloon knot (the A-Holy Grail of nude flashes)!
5. I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE
Scenes of gang-rape and forced sodomy should never be enjoyed while watching a movie … with your girl, wife, and/or mom. If alone, however, director Steven R. Monroe’s remake of the 1978 revenge-thriller I Spit On Your Grave provides oodles of shameful masturbatory pleasure (during the first half anyway).
Newcomer Sarah Butler plays Jennifer Hill, a young novelist on a mission to maim, dismember, and murder the men who brutally and repeatedly raped her while on holiday in the woods. Like the Meir Zarchi original, the film may-or-may-not play like a feminist fantasy, but your penis will forgive you thanks to the sexualized violence and the generous helpings of Butler nudity.
4. MACHETE
Machete, Robert Rodriguez’s ode to ’70s exploitation cinema, featured Jessica Alba in an eye-popping—but regrettably tasteful—nude shower scene, hints of nipple and bottom boob from Lindsay Lohan, and a slim downed, never-before-seen sex-pot version of Michelle Rodriguez.
If that wasn’t worth the price of admission, the actioner also includes milfy babe Alicia Rachel bathing topless in a lake with Lohan and Danny Trejo and the insanely hot 24-year-old Mayra Leal in a seven-minute T&A heavy opener:
The film opened in August to rave reviews from both critics and horror fans, but inexplicably sank at the box office. Fortunately, for those of us who watch movies with our hand down our pants, Dimension is moving forward with a sequel that promises bigger thrills: Piranha 3-DD.
2. THE KILLER INSIDE ME
Director Michael Winterbottom’s film adaptation of the Jim Thompson’s 1952 novel The Killer Inside Me caused plenty of outcry upon its release last year, leading to some walkouts during the film’s festival run.
The controversial scenes included rough sex and raw, prolonged violence against its female leads, namely Kate Hudson and Jessica Alba, the latter of which gets whipped with a belt by Casey Affleck, who plays serial killer Lou Ford.
Check it out:
Thompson repeatedly defended his film by describing it as a statement against violence and yada, yada. But, he could have saved his breath. One look at Alba’s bright red tush and the only thing getting spanked is a monkey.
1. BLACK SWAN
Acclaimed director Darren Aronofsky’s new psychological thriller Black Swanstars Natalie Portman as an emotionally unstable ballet dancer convinced that she is being undermined by a sinister Sapphic troupe mate, played by Mila Kunis with sexy bad-bitch flair.
In the film, Portman is groped by Vincent Cassel during a routine and performs an intense and titillating masturbation scene, but it’s her lesbian romp with Kunis that lands the psychological thriller in the top slot. You can check it out here.
Dark Sky has cooked up a new trailer for writer/director Joe Maggio’s revenge-is-a-dish-best-served-sauteed thriller Bitter Feast, available on DVD on Jan. 4. The film follows a celebrity chef taken to the boiling point (somebody stop me) after losing his job over a particularly nasty review from some asshole food blogger.
The trailer is served. Bon appetit:
That should make you think twice about complaining over your wife’s turkey this holiday season.
Anyway, the official synopsis reads:
Notorious and influential food blogger J.T. Franks (Joshua Leonard) writes a particularly vicious review that doesn’t sit well at all with its subject, Peter Grey (James LeGros), a chef whose career is already on a down slide and may not survive this latest blow.
So the temperamental, egotistical chef concocts an elaborate and deadly revenge scheme. Grey kidnaps Franks and chains him in a remote cabin in the woods, where he forces him to prepare deceptively simple dishes – from eggs over easy to medium-rare steak – then tortures him sadistically for anything less than perfection.
A tense thrill-ride prepared with wicked wit and culinary flare, BITTER FEAST is an exploration of the creative impulse gone tragically and ferociously awry.
Bitter Feast is produced by Glass Eye Pix and costars Amy Seimetz, producer Larry Fessenden (House of the Devil), and “Iron Chef” Mario Batali. The film premiered at the Los Angeles Film Festival to a healthy helping of positive reviews.
Spanish actress Norma Ruiz stars as a woman out to find her missing coworker in director José Luis Alemán’s Lovecraftian thriller La Herencia Valdemar II: La Sombra Prohibida (gringo translation: Inheritance Valdemar II: The Shadow Prohibited).
Peep the trailer:
The film’s official synopsis reads:
4 days ago: Luisa Llorente, a farm appraiser, had the formidable task of going to evaluate the home of Lazarus Valdemar, but she’s not been heard from. Two expeditions go out in search of her: first is Nicholas Tramel, a detective hired by Maximilian Colvin, head of Inmoverance, the company Luisa works for, and the other comprised of coworkers Ana and Eduardo, who travel by car with the idea of joining forces with the detective, but something happens.
Man, I hate it when something happens. It reminds me of the time I set out to assassinate John Ritter, but something happened. You gotta give the Spanish credit; they sure know how to keep plot points close to the vest.
Norma Ruiz starred in Alemán’s original La Herencia Valdemar. The 30-year-old Madrid-born stunner made her name on the Spanish soap “Yo Soy Bea.”
La Herencia Valdemar II: La Sombra Prohibida costars Silvia Abascal, Laia Marull, Danielle Liotti, Oscar Jaenada, Ana Risueno, Santi Prego and Jose Olmedo. It opens in Spain on Jan. 28.
