Hansel & Gretel Get Baked is a stoner re-imagining of the classic Grimm brothers fairy tale, starring Lara Flynn Boyle as an evil witch who lures teens into her house with pot, and then eats them to maintain her youthful appearance.

If that sounds better than a family-size bag of Cheetos, you’ll be thrilled to know that the comedic frightener debuts on VOD on Feb. 19 and in selected theaters on Feb. 22. Duane Journey directs from a script by David Tillman.

Hansel and Gretel are played by Twilight Saga alum Michael Welch and “Castle” stunner Molly Quinn (Castle’s daughter). A trailer for the film was released in December, but let’s face it… you’re gonna need constant reminders. Fortunately, Trailer Addict scored an exclusive new teaser. We smuggled it for you.

Don’t ask how.

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Australian actress Jessica De Gouw (“Arrow”) is set to suck face with Jonathan Rhys Meyers (“The Tudors”) on NBC’s new 10-episode drama “Dracula.” De Gouw will play medical student Mina Murray, love interest to Meyer’s legendary vampire.

Set in 1890’s London, the series follows Dracula as he plots his vengeance on the descendants of the people who ruined his life many centuries ago. Masquerading as American entrepreneur Allen Grayson, the crafty bloodsucker wreaks havoc up until he meets Mina, a dead-ringer for his deceased wife.

De Gouw is best known for her portrayal of sexy vigilante Helena Bertinelli (aka: Huntress) on The CW’s “Arrow,” a small-screen adaptation of DC Comics’ “Green Arrow,” starring Stephen Amell as the hooded crime fighter and Katie Cassidy as his former flame Dinah “Laurel” Lance (aka Black Canary).

British actress Juno Temple is set to star in Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller’s long-awaited Sin City sequel A Dame to Kill For. The gritty actioner is based on the Miller comic of the same name, published in 1993 by Dark Horse Comics.

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For finds original stars Jessica Alba, Rosario Dawson, Jaime King and Mickey Rourke reprising their roles.

New faces include Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Looper), Josh Brolin (No Country for Old Men), Ray Liotta (Goodfellas), Jeremy Piven (“Entourage”), Christopher Meloni (”True Blood”), Jamie Chung (Sucker Punch), Alexa Vega (Machete Kills) and Playboy model Crystal McCahill.

Temple is coming off Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight Rises and William Friedkin’s gleefully deranged Killer Joe. Her previous genre creds include the arthouse sci-fi comedy Kaboom and the long-delayed lesbian werewolf thriller Jack and Diane.

Electra Avellan is set to star in actor/producer/director Michael Biehn’s Hidden in the Woods, a remake of Chilean filmmaker Patricio Vallardes’ incest-fueled survival thriller En Las Afueras de La Ciudad. She joins a cast that includes Biehn and his wife and co-producer Jennifer Blanc-Biehn.

The film follows the horrific ordeal endured by two sisters as they’re hunted in the woods by a drug lord looking to collect on the money their incestuous and incarcerated father owes him. I’m guessing Avellan will play one of the sisters, which hopefully means that her twin Elise Avellan will be cast as the other sister.

The Avellan sisters made their Hollywood debut as the “Crazy Babysitters” in the 2007 Robert Rodriguez/Quentin Tarantino collaboration Grindhouse. Since then, they’ve starred together in the island thriller The Black Waters of Echo’s Pond and the upcoming Machete Kills.

New footage from IFC’s Maniac has gone online. The two-minute-plus clip features the POV rape and strangulation of Lucie, a character toplessly played by Megan Duffy. Many sites are describing the footage as extremely disturbing. I’m guessing that’s because the chick has a crazy amount of tattoos.

Maniac tells the story of Zito, a deranged killer—played by Elijah Wood and you—who scalps the pretty women he meets online to deal with the torment once caused by his dead hooker mother, portrayed also toplessly by Playboy model America Olivo (Bitch Slap).

The film, produced by Alexandre Aja (Piranha 3-D) and directed by Frank Khalfoun’s (P2), made Clatto’s list of The 10 Sexiest Horror Films of 2012.

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The season three premiere of Syfy’s “Lost Girl” aired on Monday and, judging from the feminist blow-back the episode caused, this show is meant for degenerates like Clatto. “Lost Girl” tells the story of Bo, a beautiful nympho who discovers she’s a succubus after inadvertently fucking her mates to death.

To remedy the situation, Bo opens a detective agency with BFF Kenzi, and together they solve supernatural cases while investigating Bo’s origins. Things get complicated, however, when Bo develops romantic relationships with detective/werewolf Dyson and sexy scientist Lauren.

The season three premiere served as an ode to sexploitation films, namely the women-in-prison genre, and was chockful of girl-on-girl sexual assault, stripping, hose-downs and sweet, sweet lesbian kisses. Cast includes stunners Anna Silk as Bo, Ksenia Solo as Kenzi, Zoie Palmer as Lauren and Kristen Holden-Ried as Dyson.

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Syfy will premiere its new Syfy Original Movie Tasmanian Devil on Saturday.  The creature feature is toplined by mathematician and “Wonder Years” alumna Danica McKellar (yes, Winnie  Cooper) and eight-time Winter Olympics medalist Apolo Ohno.

Tasmanian Devil follows a group of base jumpers that make a wrong turn at Albuquerque and end up at a national park being hunted down by hungry, bear-sized Tasmanian Devils.

Tasmanian Devils, of course, are known to eat Aardvarks, ants, bears, boars, cats, bats, dogs, hogs, elephants, antelopes, pheasants, ferrets, giraffes, giselles, goats, ostriches, octopuses, ox, penguins, wart hogs, newts, walruses, wildebeests and… what? No base jumpers? Oh, wait… especially base jumpers.

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Warner Bros. has set an Oct. 4 theatrical release date for acclaimed Mexican director Alfonso Cuaron’s Gravity, a 3-D sci-fi drama that follows a pair of astronauts stranded in space as they attempt to find a way back home.

Gravity is written by Cuaron and his son Jonas and stars Academy Award winners Sandra Bullock (Blind Side) and George Clooney (Syriana) as its leads. The project has been gestating for three years and at one point was meant to star Angelina Jolie and Robert Downey Jr.

Gravity marks Bullock’s return to sci-fi since the 1993 Sylvester Stallone vehicle Demolition Man. Cuaron’s creds include Children of Men, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, and Y Tu Mama Tambien.

After Dark Originals has released a trailer for Dark Circles, a supernatural thriller about a married couple trying to survive a newborn infant and the ghost that appears to have taken an interest in the little bugger. Zodiac’s Pell James (pictured) and Quarantine’s Jonathan Schaech topline the film as the couple.

Dark Circles co-stars Philippe Brenninkmeyer (Beerfest), Michael Patrick Rogers (Texas Chainsaw 3-D), Glen Warner (“Breakout Kings”) and Andrea Frankle (The Haunting in Georgia). Broken Lizard comedy writer Paul Soter (Beerfest, Super Troopers) is attached to direct.

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Open Road has set a Sept. 13 theatrical release date for Robert Rodriguez’s Machete Kills, the unexpected sequel to his 2010 grindhouse-actioner Machete, which flopped at the box office despite being muy awesome-ito.

Machete Kills finds Machete (Danny Trejo) recruited by the U.S. government to bring down a Mexican cartel leader and a billionaire arms dealer (Mel Gibson) plotting global warfare with a high-tech space weapon. Returning players include  Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez and twins Elise and Electra Avellan.

Providing the new blood are Sofia Vergara (“Modern Family”), Amber Heard (Drive Angry), Zoe Saldana,(Avatar), Vanessa Hudgens (Sucker Punch), Alexa Vega (Spy Kids) Lady Ga-Ga, Demian Bechir (“Weeds”), Edward James Olmos (American Me) and Charlie Sheen, (“Anger Management” ) as the U.S. president.