2015
03.07

Bailey-Noble-Martyrs

Production has wrapped on Blumhouse and The Safran Company’s American remake of the controversial French film Martyrs. Directed by the Goetz Brothers, the film is toplined by “True Blood” alumna Bailey Noble (pictured) and “Pretty Little Liar” Troian Bellisario.

Released in 2008 to critical acclaim, Martyrs centers on Anna, a severely traumatized child abuse survivor abducted by a secret society convinced they can reach God by beating the living shit out of her for about an hour of the film’s duration.

Noble, best known for playing Sheriff Andy Bellefleur’s half-human/half-faeire daughter Adilyn on HBO’s “True Blood,” plays the human punching bag named Anna. Mark L. Smith, the screenwriter behind Nimrod Antal’s underrated survival-frightener Vacancy, penned the script.

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2015
03.07

Lake Bell’s Beautiful American Boobs Face ‘No Escape’ in a Foreign Land!

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The Weinstein Company has released a trailer for BOLD Films’ No Escape, a political action thriller starring Owen Wilson as an American businessmen trying to keep his family and, more importantly, Lake Bell’s big beautiful breasts, safe from rioting rebels during an upheaval in Southeast Asia.

No Escape is helmed by Devil and Quarantine director John Erick Dowdle and co-written by Dowdle and his brother Drew (As Above, So Below). Pierce Brosnan co-stars in the film as a government agent eager to help save Bell’s breasts too. No Escape hits theaters on Sept. 2.

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2015
03.07

Enjoy ‘Dark Places’ w/ Charlize Theron!

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An international trailer for French director Gilles Paquet-Brenner’s English-language debut Dark Places, an adaptation of the 2009 bestseller by novelist Gillian Flynn (“Gone Girl”). Charlize Theron toplines the film and co-stars with stunners Christina Hendricks, Drea de Matteo, and Chloe Grace Moretz.

Theron plays Libby Day, a girl who at the age of seven testified against her brother in the brutal massacre of her family. Twenty-five years later, Libby is a hot mess. Looking to turn a profit from her tragedy, she agrees to help a group called The Kill Club to re-investigate the case.

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2015
03.06

New CBS ‘Supergirl’ Costume Is Kryptonite for Boners!

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Posted above is our first look at Melissa Benoist (”Glee”) in her Supergirl costume for CBS’s new hour-long show from Warner Bros. and the producers of “Arrow” and “The Flash” on CBS sister station The CW. As you can see, it blows big, super donkey dicks.

Drab and sexless, the new costume ages Benoist and enhances her plain Jane looks—no surprise being it’s designed by Colleen Atwood, designer of the “Arrow” and “Flash” outfits. For “Supergirl,” she’s stripped all sex appeal from the character and created something uglier than NBC’s Wonder Woman getup.

Anyway… “Supergirl” finds Superman’s hot 24-year-old cousin, Kara Zor-El, living on earth after the destruction of her planet Krypton. Bearing the same superpowers and weakness to Kryptonite as the Man of Steel, she sets out to become the hero she was meant to be in an ugly costume.

2015
03.02

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The El Rey Network and Miramax announced today production has started on season two of Robert Rodriguez’s “From Dusk Till Dawn,” a small-screen adaptation of Rodriguez’s 1996 Aztec vampire thriller. The new season is slated to premiere in late summer this year with Rodriguez behind the camera.

“From Dusk Till Dawn” sees the return of many of its original stars including D.J. Cotrona and Zane Holtz as fugitive brothers Seth and Richie Gecko, Wilmer Valderrama as serpent villain Carlos Madrigal, and stunner Eiza González as vampire queen Santánico Pandemonium.

The synopsis reads:

Season Two begins with our characters in their separate worlds – Santánico and Richie are outside Houston, living like Bonnie and Clyde; Seth and Kate (Madison Davenport) are scraping by in the South of the Border

Freddie Gonzalez (Jesse Garcia) is protecting his wife and young daughter in a Houston suburb: and Carlos Madrigal (Valderrama) and Scott Fuller (Brandon Soo-Hoo) emerge from the Titty Twister, as changed men. They will all come together once again – this time facing off against an even bigger threat.

2015
02.28

Hot Newcomer Amanda Adrienne Is ‘Avenged’

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Amanda Adrienne plays girl interrupted and raped in director Michael S. Ojeda’s Avenged, a gory revenge-thriller hitting selected theaters and VOD March 6 and DVD April 21. Originally titled Savaged, the story finds Adrienne’s character, Zoe, abducted by murderous hillbilly rapists on a New Mexico road.

Making things more harrowing is that Zoe’s deaf and burdened with a sense of moral. When she attempts to rescue an Indian victim from the hillbillies, they beat and gang rape her, leaving her for dead in a shallow grave. An Indian medicine man brings her back to life, but possessed by the spirit of an Apache warrior!

I know… it had you at gang rape, you sick bastards.

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2015
02.27

‘Picket Fences’ Stunner Lauren Holly Makes Us Leap for ‘February’

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If you watched the quirky small town drama “Picket Fences” in the 90’s, chances are you still stroke recall the dream sequence in which Lauren Holly’s sexy red-headed police deputy Maxine Stewart goes to 12-year-old Matthew Brock in black bra and panties with chocolate cake and a Nintendo Gameboy.

Since that amazing moment, you’ve probably watched every movie release and TV show Holly has been in, which brings us to February. It’s a supernatural thriller set in an all-girls prep school. Emma Roberts (“American Horror Story: Coven”) toplines. Osgood Perkins, son of Anthony Perkins (Psycho), directs.

February finds two girls forgotten at the school by their parents, having visions of a third girl out to possess them. Production is currently underway in Ottawa. Holly is also known for playing sweet, butt-cheek baring Mary Swanson in the classic Farrelly brother’s comedy Dumb and Dumber.

2015
02.24

Go Crazy for ‘Bates Motel’ Season 3 Trailer!

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A&E has released a trailer for season three of producer Carlton Cuse (”LOST”) and Kerry Ehrin’s (”Friday Night Lights”) hit series “Bates Motel.” The show is a present-day prequel to Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho, and stars Freddie Highmore as Norman Bates and Vera Farmiga as his controlling mother Norma.

The trailer hints at the madness to come this season, namely Norman’s growing psycho-sexual lunacy, homicidal tendencies, and super hot disturbing relationship with his MILFy mother. We also get a look at Tracy Spiridakos (“Revolution”) as Annika Johnson, a hotel guest who makes the mistake of showering.

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2015
02.24

Don’t Get Snappish… Calista Flockhart Joins ‘Supergirl’

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Cue the Vonda Shepard music… Calista Flockhart returns to TV this year in the new CBS series “Supergirl.” The show is from Warner Bros. and the producers of the tween-centric superhero shows “Arrow” and “The Flash” on CBS sister station The CW.

“Supergirl” finds Superman’s hot 24-year-old cousin, Kara Zor-El (“Glee’s” Melissa Benoist), living on earth after the destruction of her planet Krypton. Bearing the same superpowers and weakness to Kryptonite as the Man of Steel, she embraces the hero she’s destined to be.

Flockhart, best known for playing iconic TV attorney Ally McBeal and marrying Han Solo, plays villainess Cat Grant, a former news reporter turned media magnate and Kara Zor-El’s boss at CatCo. “Supergirl” marks CBS’ first superhero show.

2015
02.22

‘Sleepy Hollow’s’ Jill Marie Jones Goes Groovy w/ ‘Ash Vs. Evil Dead’

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“Sleepy Hollow” star Jill Marie Jones is set to join “Ash Vs. Evil Dead,” a Starz’ 10-episode Evil Dead sequel series from producers Sam Raimi, Rob Tapert, and Bruce Campbell, reprising his role as boomstick bad boy Ashley J. Williams.

Jones plays Amanda Fisher, a disgraced Michigan State Trooper who blames Ash for the horrific death of her partner, but soon discovers his quest to save mankind from a Deadite uprising. “Ash Vs. Evil Dead” picks up 30-years later after Ash’s last battle with the Deadites. Raimi co-writes and directs the pilot.

Jones currently plays New York lawyer Cynthia Irving on Fox’s hit supernatural series, “Sleepy Hollow.” She also made a lasting impression as lactating, big-boobed prostitute Pandora on FX’s “American Horror Story: Asylum.”