Mama, I'm Coming Home

I love Halloween and haunted attractions. The sight and sound of scantly-clad girls screaming their heads off while running away from crazed killers just warms my little black heart. In my hometown of Los Angeles, no one handles fright duties better than the folks at Universal Studio’s Halloween Horror Nights. The annual event boasts unrivaled production values and the most terrifying cast of movie villains and spooks. Of course, this is child’s play for the studio that introduced the world to such famous movie monsters as Dracula, Frankenstein, and the Wolfman.

"I Think I Feel the Flu Coming On"

The best way to enjoy the Horror Nights event is to purchase the VIP package that includes “front-of-the-line” privileges. This will ensure that you have enough time to experience all the mazes, and will also allow you the opportunity to laugh at the suckers stuck in line. This year, Mrs. Muertos and I  survived the caves of My Bloody Valentine, Michael Myers’ old stomping grounds, and Jigsaw’s infamous traps. All three mazes featured gleefully gross reenactments of each movie’s most brutal murders. Walking … er limping … through the first five chapters of Saw provided the biggest rush for me. However, I have to admit that last year’s Saw maze in Brea, CA was far more creepy and engaging, thanks in part to its more intimate and interactive setting.

Hang In There, Buddy!

The “Terror Tram” dropped us off at the back lot where we were once again chased by the Bloody Valentine Killer, Michael Myers, and a roving band of homicidal clowns. We sought refuge at the Bates Motel, but were run out of dodge by notorious mama’s boy Norman Bates. Further down the Psycho-path (ha! get it!) we came upon the gruesome airplane wreckage from the 2005 War of the Worlds remake. From the looks of it, the passengers, dead and alive, were now nothing more than zombie kibble.

Dead Heads

Back on the upper lot, the Shaun of the Dead zombies roamed the park’s fog-heavy London sector in search of brains, a ten-foot tall Devil busted cabbage-patch and running-man moves to Disturbed’s “Down with the Sickness” on the main square, and the bloody, half-naked Saw dancers, who I’m convinced must have been abducted from a nearby Spearmint Rhino stage, grinded against ea ch other as fireballs lit the night sky above them.

Cutters Need Love Too

The Muertos-Cam is on its last legs, but it offers the following gallery for your viewing pleasure.

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