Welcome to our list of The 10 Sexiest Horror Films of 2016, a ranking of the year’s hottest fright flicks and thrillers as chosen by our esteemed nuts. Creature features, abduction thrillers, rape/revenge (you gotta have the revenge or peeps freak out), even a couple of genuine erotic thrillers and a sci-fi romance are honored this year (yes, we’re getting soft in our old age – just not where it counts!).

Comment, complain, and contribute below. Don’t forget to check out our lists for 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, and 2015.

10. SiREN

A bachelor party finds a groom and his buddies at an underground strip club where the featured talent is a captive siren performing a unique and seductive peep show. Mesmerized by the creature’s song, the groom decides he must free her. Unfortunately, she sets out to eviscerate every male in the room when he does.

Hannah Fierman plays the siren, going nude throughout much of the film’s duration. Of course, she’s a bit of a butterface – those teeth, that forehead –  and her gross affinity for castrating dudes is a total bummer. But, that tail is hot and watching a naked chick kill is always thrilling. There’s also a sexiness assist by Lindsey Garrett and stunning newcomer Monica Ollander.

09. HIDDEN IN THE WOODS

Husband and wife producers Jennifer Blanc and Michael Biehn’s Hidden in the Woods is a remake of Chilean filmmaker Patricio Vallardes’ incest-fueled, rape-happy survival thriller En Las Afueras de La Ciudad.

Directed by Vallardes, the film stars Electra Avellan and Jeannine Kaspar as sisters repeatedly raped and tormented by their hooligan father until the day he’s sent to the pokey. The girls barely have time to pull up their knickers when their drug lord uncle shows up to collect the money their father owes him.

Vallardes original film made this very list in 2013. You’ll feel bad for liking it, but, hey, it’s just a movie… oh, wait, it’s based on a true story.

HIDDEN IN THE WOODS – NSFW Trailer (2014) [HD] from Patricio Valladares on Vimeo.

08. SUICIDE SQUAD

Suicide Squad is an adaptation of the DC Comic about a group of super-villains brought together by a government agency for a suicide mission. The flick was regrettably retarded, but Margot Robbie as sexy, booty-short clad psychopath Harley Quinn made it impossible not to buy a ticket.

Robbie owes her Hollywood breakthrough to full frontal nudity in Martin Scorsese’s Wolf of Wall Street, but it’ll now be awhile until we witness something that glorious again – unless a major Oscar contender comes along in which she can go full-retard and/or disheveled lesbian murderess.

Suicide Squad is also noteworthy for Cara Delevingne, looking sexy as bikini-clad baddie Enchantress.

07. CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR

Careful What You Wish For stars Aussie stunner Isabel Lucas as a young trophy-wife caught up in an affair with an awkward high school student too blinded by his penis’ good fortune to notice she’s trouble.

Lucas played Goddess Athena in The Immortals and a long-tongued, short skirted Decepticon in Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen. She also thrilled as a butt flashing femme fatale in the sexually charged who-dun-it The Loft.

Lucas bares some boobage (see clip below) and that sweet tush once again in Careful What You Wish For.

06. ELLE

Paul Verhoeven, the man behind such sexy features as Basic Instinct and Showgirls, brings us a twisted tale of GILF rape and revenge in Elle, starring Isabelle Huppert as a tough businesswoman who strikes up a relationship with the home invader who raped her.

Like most Verhoeven films, there’s a lot to take in Elle, namely male and female power dynamics, sexual repression, and why cats are such little assholes.

05. PASSENGERS

Jennifer Lawrence and Christopher Pratt are strangers on a spacecraft to a new planet, awakened from their sleep pods 90 years too soon by a ship malfunction that threatens to wipe out the 5000 passengers still asleep on board.

The film is more romance story than horror so don’t expect Pratt to have his way with the sleeping bodies and chase Lawrence around with a chainsaw when she wakes up to him on top of her. Still… space is scary, doom is around them, and what Pratt does to Lawrence is probably worse than non consensual sodomy.

The scenes between Pratt and a bar tending android in the ship’s bar are an awesome homage to The Shining, hinting early on to the cabin fever afflicting Prat. But, enough justifying Passengers horror qualifications… is it sexy? Fuck, yeah. Lawrence shines onscreen – her looks, her movements, her taste in bikinis and evening wear.

There’s no nudity in Passengers and blue balls is a risk, but Lawrence crawling on a table, swaying in a tight dress and heels, jogging, and swimming – all without that pesky blue color dye – is worth price of admission and any possible indecent exposure charges.

04. GIRL ON THE TRAIN

An adaptation of Paula Hawkins bestselling debut novel, Girl on the Train is a fun, twisty erotic mystery starring Emily Blunt as an alcoholic divorcée hung up on her ex and obsessed with the perfect young couple living on his street. Haley Bennett plays a nanny to her ex’s new baby and the kind of emotionally damaged hottie that is irresistible.

Horror fans will recognize Bennett from The Haunting of Molly Hartley and, boy, is she all growns up. Her character screams sex kitten and seduces everything with a penis. She’s a tragic character with a very sad backstory and you’ll feel like an asshole for objectifying her, but Bennett is gorgeous and watching her flash some T&A, along with banging in the woods and flashing panties at her shrink, is worth going to hell.

03. PET

“Orphan Black” stunner Ksenia Solo is the object of an Animal Control center employee’s obsession. When his advances are rejected, he abducts her and keeps her in a cage at work. Solo is not the meek creature she appears to be, but her deranged suitor is convinced he can save her from being a rabid bitch to others.

Bitches are only attractive if they’re clad in vinyl and are being paid to treat you like the pig you are so how can a movie about a mean and evil woman be sexy? She’s in a fucking cage! And, she’s Ksenia Solo. Seriously, that visual is pretty erotic. Duct tape or a muzzle is warranted, but that would ruin the tale which is awesomely twisted.

02. THE SHALLOWS

One hot female surfer. One big ass shark. One clingy bikini. You’re gonna need a bigger box of Kleenex.

The Shallows is directed by Jaume Collet-Serra (Orphan) and stars Lively (Age of Adaline) as a surfer stranded on a rock just a few feet from shore after being attacked by a great white.

There is no nudity in The Shallows, but spending alone time with a bikini-clad Lively is surprisingly thrilling. We can only wonder how much better Gravity had been if Sandra Bullock had worn a sexy little two-piece while stuck in space!

01. NEON DEMON

The Neon Demon is an L.A. based satire about cannibalistic cat-walkers co-written and directed by Nicolas Refn (Drive). Elle Fanning leads a cast that includes Christina Hendricks, Bella Heathcote , Jena Malone, model Abbey Lee and Keanu Reeves.

The Neon Demon follows a group of supermodels as they turn to cannibalism and voodoo to maintain their looks and competitiveness. Nudity is provided by stunners Bella Heathcote and Abbey Lee and Jena Malone who goes the extra full-frontal mile and turns in an outrageous scene of lesbian necrophilia with Playboy Playmate Cody Renee Cameron.

“Dexter” and “Sleepy Hollow” alumna Katia Winter stars in Unwanted, a supernatural thriller helmed by Stash House and Fright Night 2 remake director Eduardo Rodriguez. The Swedish stunner plays a young MILF who after regaining custody of her daughter must fend off the evil force haunting their new home.

Shot on location in the village of Goshen, NY., Unwanted is written by a dude named Andrew Wong and co-stars people named Ashley Jones and Zach Avery. No word yet on distribution, but the fire dude from Suicide Squad is an executive producer so there’s that.

Horror fans first popped eyes over Winter during her breakthrough performance as Russian stripper Nadia on season seven of Showtime’s serial killer drama “Dexter.” She would go on to wear more clothes in the Fox series “Sleepy Hollow” as Ichabod Crane’s wife Katrina, a nurse with the 37^th Regiment in the Revolutionary War.

Despite taking two years of French in high school, we only truly mastered the ability to ask for a Sausage Croissant at Jack In The Box. Nonetheless we love french thrillers, especially when they are of the erotic nature. One of our favorites is 2003’s Swimming Pool from writer/director Francois Ozon.

Ozon has a new erotic thriller on the horizon titled L’Amant Double. Plot details are still under wraps, but from its title – and that French class – we can deduce it has something to do with a lover’s double. With French model/actress Marine Vacth (pictured above) starring, we’re hoping twins!

Also exciting is the recent casting of one-time sex symbol Jacqueline Bisset (pictured below), who stunned in the 1977 thriller The Deep and the 1983 cougar comedy Class. Bisset is 72 now, but those roles, among others, have a funny way of keeping her ageless.

If L’Amant Double is anything like Swimming Pool, an erotic crime thriller pitting an older woman against a young sexpot, we can expect Bisset’s character to be major. Production is underway in Paris.

Katee Sackhoff (“Longmire”) plays a guilt-ridden MILF attempting to save her estranged daughter from a demonic witch in director Caradog James’ (The Machine) Don’t Knock Twice, releasing Feb. 3 on VOD from IFC Midnight.

Sackhoff, best known for playing cocky fighter pilot Kara “Starbuck” Thrace on Syfy’s “Battlestar Galactica,” is coming off Mike Flanagan’s horror hit Oculus and box office goon Vin Diesel’s riddickulous sequel Riddick.

Notable creds include The Haunting in Georgia, a sequel to the 2009’s The Haunting in Connecticut, Halloween: Resurrection (her horror movie debut), and voicing Mandalorian Bo-Katan on Cartoon Network’s “The Clone Wars.”

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Filmmakers have taken multiple swings at the Lizzie Borden story for years, but never has an adaptation been more intriguing than screenwriter Bryce Kass’ lesbian take on the notorious tale of the 1892 hatchet murders of Andrew and Abby Borden by their daughter.

Directed by Craig William Macneill, taking a break from his fascination with nine-year-old schoolboy stories, Lizzie explores the brooding murderess’ backstory leading up to the slaughter of her parents and introduces a pretty family maid as her sympathetic lesbian lover.

Chloe Sevigny (“American Horror Story: Asylum”) and Kristen Stewart (Twilight Saga) topline the film as Lizzie Borden and young maid Bridget Sullivan, respectively. While we would have preferred Megan Fox or Bella Thorne in the role of Lizzie, but we understand at least one had to resemble a real lesbian.

Screw Santa… Twentieth Century Fox made every horror fans’ Christmas with the release of a first trailer for Ridley Scott’s Alien: Covenant. Set to release May 19, 2017, the Prometheus sequel/Alien prequel stars Katherine Waterston (Inherent Vice), Demian Bichir (Hateful Eight), Amy Seimetz (You’re Next), Danny McBride (”Eastbound & Down”), James Franco and Michael Fassbender, back as David the android.

The official synopsis reads:

Ridley Scott returns to the universe he created in ALIEN with ALIEN: COVENANT, the second chapter in a prequel trilogy that began with PROMETHEUS — and connects directly to Scott’s 1979 seminal work of science fiction.

Bound for a remote planet on the far side of the galaxy, the crew of the colony ship Covenant discovers what they think is an uncharted paradise, but is actually a dark, dangerous world — whose sole inhabitant is the “synthetic” David (Michael Fassbender), survivor of the doomed Prometheus expedition.

The trailer is exciting beyond words (the shower… not since Psycho, man!), which poses a wonderful problem for us in this post – namely, you just gotta see this damn thing for yourself!

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A new trailer has gone online for Gore Verbinski’s A Cure for Wellness, a stylishly and eerie psychological thriller starring Dane DeHaan (Chronicle) as a young company executive sent to retrieve his CEO from a wellness center in the Swiss Alps, where strange experiments are being conducted on spa guests.

A Cure for Wellness looks masterful and creepy and marks Gore Verbinski’s return to horror since 2002’s fright classic The Ring. Jason Isaacs (Harry Potter) and Mia Goth (Nymphomaniac: Vol. II) co-star. Twentieth Century Fox Feb. 17, 2017.

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Warner Bros. has released an announcement trailer for its upcoming sequel to Ridley Scott’s renowned sci-fi classic, Blade Runner 2049. Ryan Gosling stars as L.A.P.D. blade runner K and Harrison Ford reprises his role as original Replicant hunter, Rick Deckard.

The teaser is good and hearing Deckard tell K at gunpoint, “I had your job once. I was good at it,” is juicy bravado that makes us wish he’d pull that trigger and carry on for the remainder of the film.

Official synopsis reads:

Thirty years after the events of the first film, a new blade runner, LAPD Officer K (Ryan Gosling), unearths a long-buried secret that has the potential to plunge what’s left of society into chaos. K’s discovery leads him on a quest to find Rick Deckard (Harrison Ford), a former LAPD blade runner who has been missing for 30 years.

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Clatto has a new crush and she stars in The Autopsy of Jane Doe, a supernatural thriller set in a small town morgue run by father and son coroners unaware of the horrors the female corpse on their table, murdered in a family massacre, is about to unleash on them.

Irish model-turned-actress Olwen Catherine Kelly plays Jane Doe in the film, directed by André Øvredal (Troll Hunter) from a script by Ian B. Goldberg (“Once Upon a Time”) and Richard Naing (”Dead of Summer”). Kelly doesn’t have any lines, but her performance has got tongues wagging among critics.

She says of the role to KildareNow:

Sometimes I would only be on the slabs for a few hours, and sometimes it was essentially all day with just breaks as I needed them. So some days I was lying still, essentially for eight hours.

I remember definitely not wanting to twitch or to break anyone else’s concentration. There’s a lot going on around me, a lot of people working very hard, particularly the other actors. I was very aware that I was supposed to be lying there completely still.

Never mind the twitching! Considering Kelly was nude on the slab, we’re surprised the movie could be made at all. These must be some serious acting professionals. You can see them all when The Autopsy of Jane Doe arrives on VOD Dec. 20 and in theaters Dec. 21.

A teaser trailer has gone online for indie frightener Close Calls and it is truly an example of genius marketing, focusing on its bosom-heavy, butt cheek baring star as her evening with a tasty pizza and some ranch dressing is rudely interrupted by sinister forces.

The teaser will remind horror fans of the opening scene in Wes Craven’s Scream, but re-imagined with a lot more ass, courtesy of lead Jordan Phipps (pictured above).

Helmed by writer and director Richard Stringham in his feature film debut, Close Calls stars Phipps as a troubled teen left home with her grandmother by her father and forced to fend off a stalker obsessed with her big boobs and enormous ass – well, that’s why we think he’s obsessed with her.

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