09.03
Happy Labor Day Weekend! Below is our list of the hottest working girls in horror ever! The films are not set during Labor Day, but do play out in the workplace. As always, feel free to add your own suggestions.
Enjoy:
10. THE POSTAL BABES (POSTAL)
Uwe Boll’s 2007 film adaptation of the 1997 video game Postal finds an unemployed cuckold identified as Postal Dude teaming up with a doomsday cult of large breasted, Hitler-mustached babes to steal a shipment of expensive dolls.
Things get complicated when the doll shipment is also being targeted by Osama Bin Laden to use in a terrorist mission against America. Yes… this is what you secretly wished Zero Dark Thirty had been.
Go Postal:
9. JEANNE TRIPPLEHORN (OFFICE KILLER)
Office Killer stars Carol Kane as a meek copy editor demoted to freelancer when the magazine she works at begins budget cuts. Called in to help one of her more douchey co-workers, she gets a taste for retribution when she accidentally kills him and likes it.
Jeanne Tripplehorn, who at the time was coming off a string of blockbusters that included Basic Instinct, The Firm and Waterworld, plays Norah Reed, a sophisticated editor who happens to be stealing from the business and causing the magazine’s cutbacks and layoffs.
Couldn’t find a good trailer for Office Killer, so here’s Tripplehorn being ravished by Michael Douglas in one of the hottest scenes from Basic Instinct.
8. NATHALIE COX (EXAM)
Nathalie Cox is one of eight candidates applying for a job with a drug company that has manufactured a cure for a viral outbreak that is spreading across the globe. The applicants are told they will be given an 80-minute exam that consists of one question.
When the group realizes that the exam paper is blank, they freak the fuck out and start to back stab each other in an effort to pass the test. Genre fans will recognize Cox as the goddess Artemis in Clash of the Titans and as the voice of Imperial pilot Juno Eclipse in the Star Wars: The Force Unleashed games.
7. JUDIT VIKTOR (SEVERANCE)
Severance is a hilarious British horror-comedy that follows the sales force of an Eastern European military arms vendor on a team-building retreat to the Matra mountains of Hungary, where they are hunted down and killed by a bloodthirsty maniac.
Hungarian babe Judit Viktor plays Nadia, a topless hooker who ends up saving the day. The role is arguably her most memorable, but she can also be seen in 8MM 2, a sequel to the snuff porn thriller starring Nicolas Cage.
Peep it:
6. LARA FLYNN BOYLE (THE TEMP)
Lara Flynn Boyle is best known for her roles as Donna Hayward on “Twin Peaks” and alien queen Serleena in Men in Black II, but her performance in Tom Holland’s The Temp holds a special place for those of us who masturbated to grew up on the psycho-bitch thrillers of the ’80s and ’90s.
Boyle plays Kris Bolin, a temp sent to assist a cookie company advertising executive struggling to reconnect with his estranged wife and child while vying for a promotion. Kris helps the only way she knows how… by killing the competition. When her boss fails to appreciate that, she goes ballistic.
Peep it:
5. ALI LARTER (OBSESSED)
Ali Larter attempts to steal a black man away from his black wife in this Screen Gems sleeper hit that borrows heavily from Fatal Attraction and The Temp. Needless to say, Ali gets her ass whooped in a hot interracial cat fight that is not as frightening as watching a pet boil in a pot, but a lot more satisfying.
Larter plays Lisa Sheridan, a temp who tries to seduce her boss by flashing him her goodies while riding in his car, sneaking into his house to scratch his wife out of family photos and slipping him a couple of ruffies to get into his hotel room during a business trip.
Peep it:
4. ANGELINA JOLIE (WANTED)
Wesley Gibson transforms from meek office-drone and cuckold (his live-in girlfriend is fucking his best friend) to elite assassin with supernatural abilities when he meets an insanely gorgeous, but emotionally scarred, femme fatal who takes him under her wing.
That femme fatal is played by Angelina Jolie in a back-baring, pouty-lipped performance that thrills, especially during an inspired boyfriend’s revenge scene in which she makes out with Wesley in front of his cheating girlfriend.
3. RACHEL NICHOLS (P2)
P2 stars Rachel Nichols as Angela Bridges, an attractive businesswoman held captive in the underground parking structure of her Manhattan office by the building’s creepy security guard. Armed with just a fire axe and a clingy, wet dress, she embarks on a dangerous game of cat-and-mouse with the homicidal stalker.
Written and produced by Alexandre Aja, the Summit Entertainment features an emotionally intense performance from Nichols and plenty of eye-popping stunts from her large, magnificent breasts (i.e. jumping, running, bouncing).
Peep it:
2. ELISHA CUTHBERT (HE WAS A QUIET MAN)
Christian Slater plays Bob Maconel, a disgruntled cubicle employee who carries a gun to work everyday in the hopes of one day offing his co-workers one by one. His plan is disrupted when another man opens fire at the office, wounding the woman he’s been obsessed with. Bob shoots the man and becomes a hero.
Elisha Cuthbert is Vanessa, the object of Bob’s desires. Prior to the shooting, she didn’t know Bob was alive. They strike up a relationship and Bob is happy to take care of her while she’s disabled, but secretly fears that she will get better and leave him.
Peep:
1. DREAMA WALKER (COMPLIANCE)
Based on a ridiculous, but true story, Compliance tells the tale of a young fast food employee subjected to a string of indignities, including a humiliating strip search, by her manager after she’s accused of stealing money from a customer by someone pretending to be a police officer on the phone.
Dreama Walker (“Don’t Trust the Bitch in Apartment 23”) goes nude for role and… you’re already illegally downloading it, aren’t you?
