Universal Studios Hollywood is on the last severed leg of its annual Halloween Horror Nights event. As we have since 2006, Mrs. Muertos and I purchased some Front-of-the-Line passes (you’ll look like the walking dead in those hour-long lines if you don’t spring for these) and headed out on a Sunday for some frightful fun.
The production values at Halloween Horror Nights, from maze design to creepy scare zones—each with their own menacing stable of spooks—are unrivaled and do an impressive job of bringing to life horror’s goriest franchises (i.e. Friday the 13th, Nightmare On Elm Street, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Hostel, SAW).
With the introduction of two high-profiled mazes this year, one based on AMC’s runaway hit series “The Walking Dead” and the other on the eerie Silent Hill franchise, the stakes were higher than they’ve ever been in recent years (last few HHN’s have recycled mazes with a few tweaks here and there).
Needless to say, the little lady and I bee-lined to “The Walking Dead” attractions first, starting with the Terror Tram which drops riders off at a part of Universal’s back lot where sets for the Bates Motel and the War of the Worlds airline crash site are displayed.
The undead must have been resting in peace on Sunday because what should have been a frightening zombie apocalypse left us feeling stiffed. What’s worse, the few undead walking around often spoke! Zombies don’t speak; they don’t warn you of impending doom.
(Note to HHN: Don’t hire inexperienced young kids as actors. If you do, train them well or you’ll become Knott’s)
The “Walking Dead” maze fared much better despite its lack of zombies. The set looked authentic and guided victims through many of the show’s memorable moments, such as the season one’s hospital escape and the severed zombie lady crawling towards protagonist Rick Grimes.
Up next, we headed to Silent Hill. Though far from being a blockbuster, The Silent Hill franchise has earned many a devout fan with its disturbing imagery and horrifying monsters. It’s one of my favorite series, and I was convinced it would make for one of the best attractions at HHN.
The maze was short and again sparse on actors. The lack of Silent Hill monsters was such a heartbreaking let down. But, I figured the Silent Hill Nurses would remedy my disappointment with their stripper-like bodies and creepy jittery movements.
My hopes flatlined when it became apparent these nurses were spending too much time at the cafeteria. They were pudgy and clumsy with their motions. Pyramid Head, however, was a terrifying treat and scared the shit out of us when he swooped down to block our camera… guess he was embarrassed for the nurses.
Our spirits were down, but quickly reanimated by the mazes La Lorona: La Cazadora de Los Ninos, Universal Monsters Remix and Alice Cooper Goes to Hell 3D.
The legend of La Llorona, a tragic tale rooted in Latin folklore, is explored in shocking and unapologetic detail. With its Santeria imagery and brutal displays of gruesome child murders, it’s arguably HHN’s most disturbing maze of all time.
Giant shawled figures with horse skulls for heads roam the maze, a twisted journey through candle-lit churches, horse stables, rivers and nightmare-filled bedrooms. Animatronic Llorona heads swallow children whole before looking to HHN visitors as dessert. It’s fucked up!
Alice Cooper Goes to Hell took us through the shock-rocker’s interpretation of Dante’s Inferno… in 3D! The 3D worked and the maze was a blast. Especially hot was the second circle of hell (LUST) which showcased a couple of sexy devil girls. I didn’t cool down until reaching the ninth—and frozen—stage of hell (Treachery).
Universal Monsters Remix is where we found Chucky (they have a “little actor” stalking the maze) and a mash of mad scientists, movie monsters and mummies, plus deadly DJs and some attractively ghoulish go-go-dancers.
Peep some pics:
