Spanish director Pedro Almodovar must know something about actor Antonio Banderas that we don’t. Twenty years after casting the Desperado star as a mentally unstable, porn star-abducting nut in Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down, Almodavar has now reunited with Banderas to tell the story of an unstable plastic surgeon who sets out to avenge the rape of his daughter utilizing the tools of his trade.

Peep it:

La Piel Que Habito (Gringo translation: The Skin I Live In) is based on author Thierry Jonquet’s “Tarantula” and will begin production over the summer in Spain.

Almodavar described the project to Spanish newspaper El Pais:

The film will be a terror film, without screams or scares.  It’s difficult to define and although it comes close to the terror genre — something that appeals to me that I’ve never done — I won’t respect any of its rules. It’s the harshest film I’ve ever written and Banderas’ character is brutal.

It has always been my hope that when the Hollywood machine finally spat Banderas out he would star as me in my indie biographical film The Unbearable Lightness of Blogging: The Eddie Muertos Story.

However, this Almodovar movie may be better. I’m a huge Banderas fan. The guy always turns in crazy-intense performances when put in the right film (i.e. Desperado, Mambo Kings, Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down, Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown, Mask of Zorro, And Starring Pancho Villa as Himself, and, hell, even Assassins).

Heading off to Spain to work with Almodovar is the best career decision Banderas has made in awhile … even better than creating his own cologne. Yes, that’s right, ladies. My balls smell just like Zorro’s.

To see Banderas with a nude Autumn Reeser, click here.

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The foam was strong with Playboy Playmate of the Year (2007) Sarah Jean Underwood. The absolutely gorgeous “Attack of the Show” co-host commanded over a sexy group of Slave Leias during a charity car wash held in Los Angeles a week ago.

The fundraiser benefited the Make-A-Wish Foundation and our penises.

Despite the fact that the event was being held for a children’s charity, the Leias were not shy about putting them on the glass. But, it was Underwood in a camel-toe revealing white Leia outfit (circa Episode IV) that had guys choking the wookie.

Underwood not only lathered up with the Slave Leias to scrub down landspeeders and podracers, she took time to booty-pop with dancing Jawas.

Feel the power of the backside.

Underwood made her “Playboy” debut as part of “The Girls of the Pac 10” pictorial in the October 2005 issue of the magazine (she was featured on the cover as well). The 26-year-old stunner was name July’s Playmate of the Month in ’06 and Playmate of the Year in ’07.

Revenge of the Slit.

“Attack of the Show” can be seen on the G4 network.

To see Star Wars inspired strippers, go here and here.

Enjoy the gallery, you will:

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If you’re catching Iron Man 2 at the movies this weekend, make sure you’re not the one that’s sent out to score Goobers and nachos.

Word on the web is that a teaser-trailer for J.J. Abram’s top-secret Cloverfield prequel Super 8 will premiere ahead of Iron Man 2.

Turns out the Super 8 trailer premiering during Iron Man 2 showings is actually a teaser for next year’s Spielberg/Abrams sci-fi actioner. According to the folks at Vulture, the teaser centers on a group of kids who discover an alien creature in a frame of the super 8mm movie they are making.

If you don’t feel like dealing with the Iron Man fanboys this weekend to see the trailer, you can check it out here:

Summit Entertainment is doing The Impossible with Aussie starlet Naomi Watts and former Jedi-master Ewan McGregor.

Directed by Juan Antonio Bayona (The Orphanage), The Impossible is said to be set during the 2004 Indian Ocean earthquake that caused a tsunami to hit the coast of Thailand, leaving thousands dead and/or missing in its wake.

According to Spanish news site diaroinformacion.com, Bayona will incorporate elements of horror, mystery and sci-fi into the story. Let’s hope he also adds a thin white t-shirt to Watt’s wardrobe during the movie’s rainy parts.

Watts was named one of Clatto’s Ten Hottest Horror/Sci-fi Babes of the Past Decade.

Anchor Bay Entertainment has released the first poster for director Steven R. Monroe’s I Spit On your Grave remake. Judging by the look in actress Sarah Butler’s eyes and the shears in her hands, I’m guessing this film is rated NAFYB: Not Appropriate for Your Balls.

(See Sarah’s sexy and revealing new poster now)

(See Sarah’s ass make a cameo in NSFW trailer)

The official synopsis reads:

A remake of the controversial 1979 cult classic, I Spit on Your Grave retells the horrific tale of writer Jennifer Hills, who takes a retreat from the city to a charming cabin in the woods to start on her next book. But Jennifer’s presence in the small town attracts the attention of a few morally deprived locals who set out one night to teach this city girl a lesson.

They break into her cabin to scare her. However, what starts out as terrifying acts of humiliation and intimidation quickly and uncontrollably escalates into a night of physical abuse and torturous assault. But before they can kill her, Jennifer sacrifices her broken and beaten body to a raging river that washes her away.

As time passes, the men slowly stop searching for her body and try to go back to life as usual. But that isn’t about to happen. Against all odds, Jennifer Hills survived her ordeal. Now, with hell-bent vengeance, Jennifer’s sole purpose is to turn the tables on these animals and to inflict upon them every horrifying and torturous moment they carried out on her… only much, much worse.

If Monroe’s film is true to Meir Zarchi’s original, I predict this film will be almost as emasculating to watch as Sex in the City 2.

Briana Evigan continues to step up the horror ladder with a starring role in director Carlos Brooks’ (Quid Pro Quo) quirky survival-thriller Burning Bright. The film pits Evigan’s character Kelly up against a man-eating tiger while attempting to take care of her autistic kid brother during a hurricane.

Take a look:

Evigan, daughter of TV star Greg Evigan (“B.J. and the Bear,” “My Two Dads”), made her film debut with her father at the age of ten in the 1996 paranormal-thriller House of the Damned. Her horror creds also include last year’s Sorority Row remake, the Donnie Darko sequel S. Darko, director Darren Lynn Bousman’s (Saw V) upcoming frightener Mother’s Day and Step Up 2: The Streets.

Let the striped one in.

Burning Bright costars Garret Dillahunt (Last House on the Left), Charlie Tahan (I Am Legend), Mary Rachel Dudley (RoboDoc), Peggy Sheffield (Jeepers Creepers), and Meat Loaf (BloodRayne). The film will most likely arrive on DVD and Blu-ray disc come summer.

Sarah Wayne Callies (“Prison Break”) will star opposite Andrew Lincoln in AMC’s TV adaptation of the Robert Kirkman comic book series “The Walking Dead.”

“The Walking Dead” follows police officer Rick Grimes (Lincoln) as he and his family struggle to survive in a zombie apocalypse. Callies will play Grimes’ troubled wife Lori.

Well, at least it isn’t a vampire apocalypse.

The series is produced by Frank Darabont (The Mist, The Green Mile) and is set to debut on AMC in October.

Dimension Films has released a full-length trailer for director Alexandre Aja’s long-delayed creature-feature Piranha 3-D. The clip provides a better look at the CG-produced piranhas (not a good thing) and Kelly Brooke in a red bikini (a very good thing).

Take a look:

Is it me, or is Christopher Lloyd playing Doc Brown in this movie?

A remake of Joe Dante’s 1978 classic, Piranha 3-D revolves around a spring break town terrorized by schools of prehistoric piranha set free by an underwater earthquake. Aja describes the film as a technically updated throwback to to the sensationalistic 3-D films many of us grew up with, promising a gratuitous amount of blood and boobs. To see some BTS shot from the set, go here.

Piranha 3-D stars Elisabeth Shue (Hollow Man), Kelly Brooke (Survival Island), Ving Rhames (Day of the Dead), Christopher Lloyd (Back to the Future), Jerry O’Connell (“Sliders”), Richard Dreyfus (Jaws), Adam Scott (The Return), Dina Meyer (Saw IV), Jessica Szohr (House at the End of the Drive), Hostel director Eli Roth and porn performer Riley Steele (Naked Aces 5).

In theaters August 27.

The premise behind director Tom Six’s mad-scientist thriller The Human Centipede (First Sequence) is sure to make most people’s skin crawl. But, if you’re not like most people and have grown elephant balls watching films that depict torture and eye-socket rape, the idea of a surgeon sewing people together mouth-to-anus to form a human centipede may seem too outrageous to be frightening.

Relax. You’re in good hands.

Six does an impressive job of avoiding cheap torture-porn thrills and direct-to-DVD cheese. Once past the film’s sensational hook, the horror of being abducted—for whatever reasons—begins to set in. Humor is peppered throughout the story, but it is dark and organic, birthed from the insanity of the ordeal at hand. Before you know it, you too are being held captive for 90 minutes of white-knuckle anguish.

Lindsay and Jenny, played by Ashley C. Williams (a true find) and Ashlynn Yennie respectively, are American tourists in Germany. On their way to a party, their car gets a flat and strands them on a desolate backwoods road. Neither of the girls knows how to change a tire so they decide to walk through the woods in search of help.

While some may roll their eyes at the set-up, I think it’s effective in establishing the characters’ lack of resourcefulness—something that will cost them dearly when faced with a life-or-death situation. Besides, not everyone knows how to change a tire (don’t judge me).

The girls eventually stumble upon a secluded villa owned by Dr. Heiter, a retired surgeon specializing in the separation of conjoined twins. Dr. Heiter is played by German actor Dieter Laser (think Christopher Walken meets Anthony Perkins), who turns in what is sure to be one of horror’s most memorable villains.

The good doc looks the ladies over and invites them in, but only after making sure they’re alone. He offers them a roofie-laced beverage and can barely contain his eagerness to harm while attempting small talk.

When the girls awake, Dr. Heiter reveals his plan to join them, and a Japanese abductee named Katsuro, ass-to-mouth to form a human centipede. The doctor explains that this will only be possible through a surgical procedure that will fuse their gastric systems.

Once stripped and sewn together (boy-girl-girl), it’s only a matter of time before Katsuro has to take a shit … into Lindsay’s mouth. It’s the moment Dr. Heiter (and—just admit it—you) has been waiting for.  “Feed her! Feed her,” he commands, pleased and titillated.

Lindsay, however, refuses to eat shit and die. Though stuck in the middle of Dr. Heiter’s human centipede, she orchestrates her final daring escape.

The Human Centipede took Best Picture honors at the 2009 Scream Fest LA Film Festival. The film also won awards for Best Horror Film and Best Horror Actor (Laser) at the 2009 Fantastic Fest.

The Human Centipede is available today on VOD (check your cable listings) and expands nationally for limited theatrical midnight showings on May 7.

Looks like “Glee’s” Dianna Agron has got something to cheer about. The actress, who turns 24 today, has been cast as the female romantic lead in DreamWorks’ sci-fi actioner I Am Number Four. The film marks Agron’s major studio debut.

Four is an adaptation of the upcoming HarperCollins young-adult novel of the same name written by James Frey (”A Million Little Pieces”) and Jobie Hughes. It’s plot centers on nine aliens living incognito as high school students in Paradise, Ohio after their home planet is destroyed by evil extraterrestrials.

Agron will play a high schooler who falls for alien Number Four, played by Alex Pettyfer (Beastly). The film also stars Sharlto Copley (District 9) and blonde stunner Teresa Palmer (The Sorcerer’s Apprentice).

Count on I Am Number Four to be in theaters on Feb. 18, 2011.