2010
05.12

See the Offical Trailer for J.J. Abrams’ ‘Super 8’

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Paramount Pictures has officially released the trailer for Super 8, the new sci-fi collaboration between “LOST” creator J.J. Abrams and Steven Spielberg, arriving in theaters on June 10. The film stars Elle Fanning, Kyle Chandler, Zach Mills, Noah Emmerich, Ron Eldard, and Amanda Michalka, sexy sister to hottie Aly Michalka.

The film’s synopsis reads:

Set in Ohio in 1979, a troupe of six youngsters using a Super 8 camera to make their own zombie movie. One fateful night, their project takes them to a lonely stretch of rural railroad tracks and, as the camera rolls, calamity strikes — a truck collides with an oncoming locomotive and a hellacious derailment fills the night with screaming metal and raining fire. Then something emerges from the wreckage, something decidedly inhuman.

Peep it:

2010
05.11

Ashley Greene, Kellan Lutz Bite the Hand That Feeds Them!

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Summit Entertainment plans to adapt “Breaking Dawn,” the fourth book in the “Twilight Saga,” as two separate movies has hit a snag. Secondary players, including Ashley Greene and Kellan Lutz, are demanding bigger truckloads of cash for their participation.

Greene and Lutz are said to be asking for ten times the amount they earned on the first Twilight film. While the Summit has not officially commented on the issue, insiders speculate that the studio may replace the actors (HA! HA!).

Twilight Saga mainstays Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, and Taylor Lautner have all locked down new stupidly lucrative deals to star in the two films, making it harder for Greene, Lutz, et all to get a bigger stake in the franchise.

Greene stars in Dark Castle’s upcoming Paranormal Activity ripoff inspired ghost story The Apparition. Lutz can be seen in Platinum Dunes’ recently released A Nightmare On Elm Street remake.

The Breaking Dawn films are scheduled to shoot in the fall with release dates set for November 2011 and Summer 2012 respectively.

2010
05.11

Colin Farrell & Toni Collete to Suck Face in ‘Fright Night’

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Colin Farrell is set to star opposite milfy Toni Collette in DreamWorks’ upcoming Fright Night reboot. The 33-year-old Irish actor will play the part of Jerry Dandridge, the suave vampire who moves in next door to geeky horror fan Charley Brewster’s (Anton Yelchin) house to feed on fresh meat and fuck his mom.

Farrell can be seen in the fantasy-themed features The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus and Neil Jordan’s soon-to-be released Ondine, but Fright Night marks his first foray into horror.

Collette, who plays Charlie’s mom, currently headlines Showtime’s “The United States of Tara.” She also starred in M. Night Shyamalan’s The Sixth Sense.

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The original Fright Night was a hit in 1985 and is included on Clatto’s list of 15 Vampire Movies That Won’t Make You Gay.

2010
05.08

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Eli Roth and Jerry O’Connell aren’t the only boobs you’ll see in the viral marketing campaign launched by Dimension Films to promote their upcoming fish-and-chicks frightener Piranha 3-D. The studio has created a fictional website based on the film’s Wild Wild Girls spring break adventures.

Take a peek:

Connell plays Derrick Jones in the movie, a red-faced Joe Francis (Girls Gone Wild) type out to capture young topless coeds as they make the first bad decisions of their lives. Roth takes on the role of wet T-shirt contest emcee, proving that his critically acclaimed performance  in Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds was not a fluke.

The site is still under construction, but already features numerous photos of the many big-boobed extras hired to play vacationing coeds.

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Piranha 3-D is directed by Alexandre Aja and costars Elisabeth Shue (Hollow Man), Kelly Brook (Survival Island), Ving Rhames (Day of the Dead), Christopher Lloyd (Back to the Future), Richard Dreyfus (Jaws), Adam Scott (The Return), Dina Meyer (Saw IV) and Jessica Szohr (House at the End of the Drive).

The film is remake of Joe Dante’s 1978 original. It arrives in theaters on Aug. 27.

2010
05.07

Radha Mitchell is a Bloody Good Reason to See ‘The Countess’

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Julie Delpy writes, directs, and stars in The Countess, a stuffy—possibly mind-numbingly dull—take on the Erzsebet Bathory story. The film is being shopped at this year’s Cannes Film Festival.

Countess Bathory is is one of history’s most notorious milfs/serial killers. She is believed to have murdered numerous virgin girls and used their blood as bathwater in an effort to remain youthful looking for her young suitor.

Delpy is the Oscar-nominated director of Two Days in Paris. Sadly, this movie looks exactly what an Oscar nominated director would do with the subject matter. But, it does have one thing going for it: Australian actress Radha Mitchell.

While it’s unclear what role Mitchell plays, it is the kind of high-brow movie the sexy 36-year-old may go nude in.

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Mitchell impressive horror creds include this year’s The Crazies remake, creature-feature Rogue, the superb Silent Hill, and Vin Diesel’s only watchable flick Pitch Black.

Radha Mitchell is part of Clatto’s list of The 20 Hottest Women Working in Horror/Sci-Fi Today.

2010
05.07

Alicja Bachleda Shows Off Her Tail in Neil Jordan’s ‘Ondine’

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Did you know that the drunken bastards over in Ireland have their own take on mermaid lore? Selkies are mythical creators that are human female from the waist up and seal from the waist down (would be quite disturbing the other way around). Selkies, unlike mermaids, can shed shed their tails at will and grow legs to walk among humans.

Director Neil Jordan (Interview with the Vampire) explores the myth in his new film Ondine, starring Polish actress Alicja Bachleda as a gorgeous selkie and Colin Farrell as the fisherman who catches her in his net.

Folklore states that a person who steals a selkie’s skin takes dominion over her, forcing her into servitude. That means she’ll do anything you want. ANYTHING. Sure, you can marry her, or you can force her to do all the things women hate to do. That’s right … your laundry, your meals, even your rain gutters!

Catch Ondine in theaters on June 4.

2010
05.06

Alana Curry is a Porno Slut in ‘BreadCrumbs’

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Hot blonde Alana Curry (Dahmer vs. Gacy2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams) is just one of many genre babes starring in indie-director Mike Nichols’ (Dead Calling) long-delayed Hansel & Gretal inspired thriller BreadCrumbs.

The movie follows a group of porn stars systematically murdered while filming sex scenes in a mysterious cabin located deep in the woods. As the killings continue, the remaining survivors begin to suspect the creepy brother and sister duo living alone in the forest.

Costarring with Curry in BreadCrumbs are Kristina Klebe (Rob Zombie’s Halloween), Amy Crowdis, Daddy’s Girl Zoe Sloan, Halloween vet Marianne Hagan, and the milfy Darbi Worley. With this many genre queens, someone’s titties are coming out. Believe it.

2010
05.05

Feliz Cinco de Mayo from ‘Machete’

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Director Robert Rodriguez has cut an “illegal” trailer for his upcoming Mexploitation revenge-thriller Machete. The clip includes a Cinco de Mayo dedication to the state of Arizona from the film’s star Danny Trejo. But, rather, than provide me with the exclusive, Rodriguez chose to give it to the fat white guy over at Ain’t It Cool. Fucking race traitor.

Anyway, mira esto, putos:

Machete’s star-studded cast includes Robert De NiroJessica Alba (as masturbating identical twins), bad-bitch Michelle Rodriguez, home-wrecker Rose McGowen, Cheech Marin (as an ass-kicking priest), former martial arts movie star Steven Seagal, Don “Crockett” Johnson, jeff Fahey of “LOST” and a reportedly topless Lindsay Lohan.

The film swings into theaters on Sept. 3.

If illegal immigrant horror is your thing, make sure to check out Undocumented, starring Alona Tal.

2010
05.05

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Despite being the face of multiple fashion campaigns and starring on British TV and stage, model/actress Kelly Brook isn’t ready to rest on the laurels of her 32-E’s. That’s why the gorgeous 30-year-old, 5-foot-8 stunner is skinny-dipping with porn star Riley Steele in director Alexandre Aja’s eagerly-anticipated Piranha 3-D.

(UPDATE: TO SEE PHOTOS OF KELLY BROOK & RILEY STEELE, GO HERE. TO SEE RILEY STEELE NUDE, GO HERE)

She tells U.K. site The Mirror:

I don’t think I’ll be getting any Oscars for it. It’s about a lot of fish that eat a lot of buff boys and big-boobied girls. It’s all set during spring break.

It’s not a B movie – it’s the biggest-budget horror movie ever made and it’s in 3-D. There’s Oscar-winning actors in it like Richard Dreyfuss – and a lot of porn stars. I fit in somewhere between. I have a lot of scenes with the porn star Riley Steele – including nude underwater scenes.

Steven R McQueen from The Vampire Diaries plays the lead and he clocked that I was getting more daily pocket money than him. So I said, “I think my body will work a bit better in 3D than yours, mate.”

While Brook is happy to use her God-given gifts of T&A to pay her rent, she sometimes gets bummed over the typecasting.

She explains:

I was sitting in a restaurant and the director [Alexandre Aja] came up and said, ‘I think you’ll be right for this movie I’m doing,’ and then when I read the script, I thought, ‘Oh yeah, thanks, it’s not really a compliment.’

Personally, I’m tired of being typecast as someone who has to do a thankless 9-to-5 job to pay my bills.

Who needs Oscar when you have Golden Globes?

Who needs Oscar when you have Golden Globes?

Piranha 3-D costars Elisabeth Shue (Hollow Man), Ving Rhames (Day of the Dead), Christopher Lloyd (Back to the Future), Jerry O’Connell (”Sliders”), Richard Dreyfus (Jaws), Adam Scott (The Return), Dina Meyer (Saw IV), Jessica Szohr (House at the End of the Drive), and Hostel director Eli Roth.

The film is remake of Joe Dante’s 1978 original. It arrives in theaters on Aug. 27.

2010
05.05

Muertos at the Movies: ‘A Nightmare on Elm Street’

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If you think Platinum Dunes new Nightmare on Elm Street remake is simply a trip down memory lane, you’re in for a rude awakening. Director Samuel Bayer has turned Wes Craven’s classic 1984 slasher into a stylish frightener that turns up the creep factor behind child molester/killer Freddy Krueger.

The premise remains true to the original: A group of kids discover they are being stalked in their dreams by the pedophile their parents burned alive in an act of street justice. If he kills them in their sleep, they die in real life.

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Many of the original’s most memorable scares (i.e. Krueger reaching out from the wall behind Nancy’s bed, the bladed glove between her legs in the tub) are impressively updated during the first half of the movie.

Especially fun is Katie Cassidy’s bedroom death sequence in which the 23-year-old stunner is bounced off the walls before being ripped to shreds in front of her boyfriend (Thomas Dekker). The scene, which originally starred Amanda Wyss (The Graves), remains one of Freddy’s most brutal kills.

Soon after Cassidy’s character dies, Bayer’s remake settles into its own groove and proceeds to effectively build sphincter-pinching tension as Krueger sets his sight on Nancy (Rooney Mara), his one-time favorite child victim.

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The cat-and-mouse games that follow are intense and culminate with Nancy, suddenly strapped to a bed in the little girl dress (oh, yeah) and Mary Jane shoes she wore as a child, attempting to break the crippling memories of her molestation long enough to get free from Krueger’s mental hold and razor claw.

Unlike Robert Englund’s beloved portrayal of the Krueger character, which grew more goofy with each sequel, Jackie Earle Haley’s (Watchmen, Shutter Island) take on the child predator is rooted in pure malice. You never forget for a moment that Krueger enjoyed diddling little children and that he takes perverse pleasure in making them suffer as teens before butchering them.

It’s clear that Bayer and Haley—and writers Wesley Strick and Eric Heisserer—are committed to keeping Krueger a creepy and menacing monster. If these were Bond films, I’d say Englund is now the Roger Moore of Elm Street.

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Of course, mainstream critics will shit over Bayer’s film, waxing nostalgic on the original (which was also poorly reviewed during its theatrical release) and asking why a remake was necessary. Trust me. The original—like your mama’s face—needed the make-over.

And, if you’re part of the targeted demographic (kids that weren’t alive during the ’80s), this new Nightmare will knock you out. In fact, that’s my only regret. I wish I could have seen this with new eyes.

A Nightmare on Elm Street is playing now.