The camel spider first entered our nightmares in 1990 when photos hit the net featuring Gulf War soldiers holding the horrifyingly huge arachnids (pictured above).

While know-it-all entomologists quickly dispelled supposed myths about the face-hugger-like creatures, downplaying their size and speed, they did admit that some can reach speeds of 10-fucking-miles-per-hour and bite … hard:

Uh-oh. Now, this soldier will have spidey senses & not need water for days.

Director Tom Martwick is now set to give the camel spider its closeup. His film Extraction follows a U.S. platoon hunted down by mutated camel spiders while stationed in Iraq. Judging from the teaser, this flick has got some production value behind it and steers clear from your typical Syfy creature-feature.

Take a look:

Martwick is currently working on Extraction so there is no release date at this moment. But, we’ll keep an eye—or eight—out for more info.

In the meantime, why not read about this more friendly and health-conscious vegan spider.

When I was just a little Muertos growing up in Bayou St. John, New Awlins, I asked my folks for an AT-AT Star Wars toy from Kenner every Christmas. I always got bait & tackle instead.

But I was OK with that because deep down I knew that learning a craft like fishing would teach me important virtues such as patience, discipline, and self reliance—virtues that would one day help me achieve tremendous success as a writer.

That belief has gotten me through many sleepless nights when I wondered if writing about Rachel Nichol’s giant tits on a horror blog is the road to riches I once thought it to be. Well, today, thanks to French-Canadian director Patrick Boivin, I know that not only was I wrong, but I really missed out on not having an AT-AT!

Take a look:

“True Blood” star Anna Paquin tells Self magazine that she and her costars have seen the trailer for New Sensations’ porn parody of the HBO bloodsucker serial and finds it amusing.

She says:

How funny is that? Someone brought their computer to set and we all watched the trailer for it. We all think it’s hilarious!

There are those who might say our show didn’t really need to have a porn parody because we do a pretty good job. How much racier can it get? Well, obviously it can, but you know.

Sadly, the piece failed to provide Paquin’s thoughts on Evan Stone’s balls.

HBO has picked up “True Blood” for a fourth season.

Tru: A XXX Parody features pretty blonde cock-socket Ashlynn Brooke in the Sookie Stackhouse role and Misty Stone as her best friend Tara Thornton.

Ashlynn Brooke

While most people will roll their eyes at the bad acting and ridiculous wardrobe and make-up, my only gripe is over the missing gap in between Sookie’s front teeth. Couldn’t they have Sharpied it in?

Oh, well, check out the trailer:

Following a fan-driven campaign to keep her on the show, departing “Criminal Minds” star A.J. Cook announced today that she will be back this fall for two more episodes.

Cook, who plays Special Agent Jennifer “J.J.” Jareau, tweeted tonight:

Thanks for your undying support but it’s a done deal. I’ll be doing 2 [episodes] to wrap up [my storyline]. [I am] excited for what’s next and hope you’ll come along!

Word that producers weren’t picking up Cook’s contract leaked a little over a week ago. Her costar Paget Brewster (Emily Prentiss), who almost got the boot as well, is reportedly working out a “reduced episode” deal for season six.

Up next for Cook is a part in director Darren Lynn Bousman’s (Saw 3) psycho-family frightener Mother’s Day, opposite Rebecca De Mornay, Jaime King, and “True Blood’s” Deborah Ann Wolf.

Cook’s horror creds include Final Destination 2, Ripper, Wishmaster 3: Beyond the Gates of Hell, The House Next Door, Bloodsuckers, Night Skies, and the Fox television series “Tru Calling.”

Jaime King (My Bloody Valentine 3-D) and genre director Tim Sullivan (2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams) join Hollywood acting coach John Homa as judges in the second season of VH1’s horror-themed reality show “Scream Queens 2.”

“Scream Queens” pits 10 aspiring actresses against each other in scenarios inspired by classic horror films. The winner is awarded a role in Lionsgate’s Saw 7, in theaters Oct. 22.

The show, which debuted in October ’08, was originally hosted by Homa, director James Gunn (Slither), and Saw’s Shawnee Smith. Acting novice Tanedra Howard won the season, scoring herself a memorable part in last year’s criminally overlooked Saw 6.

“Scream Queens 2” premieres on VH1 on August 2 at 10 p.m.

Jaime King’s creds also include Frank Miller’s The Spirit, Robert Rodriguez’s Sin City, and the 2003 fantasy-actioner Bulletproof Monk. She will next be seen in Saw 3 director Darren Lynn Bousman’s Mother.

In the meantime, check out some promo shots from the upcoming season:

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Well, it looks like everyone but me and my mother was down at L.A. Live’s Nokia Theater last night for the premiere of Summit Entertainment’s The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. Franchise stars Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner, Dakota Fanning, Ashley Greene, Nikki Reed, Christian Serratos, and Kellan Lutz were on hand to give the hordes of screaming heifers (many of whom had camped out for days) what they lack in everyday life: Human interaction.

The stars posed for pictures and signed autographs while making their way down the red carpet. Pattinson did his best not to look bored and Stewart managed to contort her face into what appeared to be a smile a couple of times. Eighteen-year-old teen wolf Lautner did not flash his abs, but instead wore a sharp suit and pretended not to be scared by the fortysomethings looking to give him a bone.

Also attending the shindig were “Twilight” author Stephanie Meyer, Eclipse director David Slade and stars Bryce Dallas Howard and Xavier Samual, former “Ghost Whisperer” Jennifer Love Hewitt, the Kardashian sisters, model Marissa Miller, L.A. Laker Ron Artest, Oscar nominee Anna Kendrick, AnnaLynne McCord, Jamie King, Briana Evigan, Will Smith’s kid, director Kevin Smith, and your fat mom.

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse opens on June 30.

Photos courtesy of Zimbio:

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Human horror show Lady Gaga is looking to raise the dead on her current Monster Ball Tour. The 24-year-old pop star is reportedly in talks with German anatomist Gunther von Hagens about incorporating elements from his controversial Body Worlds exhibitions into her live show.

Hagens invented a technique to preserve human bodies called plastination in the late ’70s and utilizes it to pose corpses in his Body Worlds exhibits, which are hosted in museums around the world.

A source for Gaga tells The Sun:

She is fascinated by Gunther’s work and life and he has the kind of past she is drawn to. Gaga sees a kindred spirit and is hoping to meet him in New York.

They’ve spoken over email and it’s gone well. She is keen to have some ‘Body Worlds’ element in one of her shows, with Las Vegas being the obvious fit.

It would be good to top this tour — which is already out there — with something nobody has done before, using dead bodies as part of a concert.

You know why it hasn’t been done before? Because it’s fucking rude!

After years of dealing with life’s ups and downs, searching for meaning and fulfillment, making sacrifices in the name of love and truth—the last thing anyone deserves is to have Lady Gaga grind her rancid crotch against their fucking corpse.

Warner Bros. has released a character-driven featurette for director Chris Nolan’s upcoming mind-bender Inception. The clip introduces us to many of the film’s key players, including The Extractor, The Architect, The Point Man, The Forger, The Shade, and The Mark.

It’s a big bowl of trippy goodness. Look:

Inception stars Leonardo DiCaprio as a business man involved in a process that allows him access into people’s minds and dreams. Things get complicated, however, when a rival (Ken Watanabe) begins to blackmail him.

The film costars Ellen Page (Hard Candy), Joseph Gordan-Levitt (G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra), Cillian Murphy (Red Eye), Marion Cotillard (Big Fish), Tom Hardy (Mad Max: Fury Road), Lukas Haas (While She Was Out), Telulah Riley (“Dr. Who”), and Michael Cain (Dark Knight).

Inception arrives in theaters on July 16.

To see BTS photos of DiCaprio, Page, and Cotillard, click here and here.

Enjoy the gallery:

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Director Tim Sullivan has released the “final beyond red band trailer” for his upcoming hillbilly horror show 2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams, available on DVD on July 20. The clip features more blood, more boobs, and more barnyard sex.

Take a peep (courtesy of Dread Central):

If you need a little story with your boobs, the film’s synopsis reads:

When this year’s round of unsuspecting Northerners fail to show up for their annual Guts ‘N Glory Jamboree, the residents of Pleasant Valley take their cannibalistic carnival on the road and head to Iowa, where they encounter spoiled heiresses Rome and Tina Sheraton and the cast and crew of their “Road Rascals” reality show.

Performing “The Bloodiest Show on Earth”, our Southern Maniacs prove more than ratings killers in what John Landis has called ‘one of the rare sequels that surpasses the original.’

2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams features quite a motley crew of actors, including Bill Moseley (Devil’s Rejects), Lin Shaye (Kingpin), Nivek Ogre (Repo! The Genetic Opera), Penthouse Pet Kathy Marie Johnson, sisters Courtney and Ashley Peldon, Ahmed Best (voice of Jar Jar Binks!), the god-awful Tony Todd (Candyman), and Playboy model Christa Campbell.

Robert Pattinson has got a message for all the Twi-hards that have camped out in front of L.A.’s  Nokia Theater since Sunday to see him and costars Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner arrive at tonight’s premiere of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse: He’s bored.

Pattinson tells The  New York Times:

It can get a little boring. The good news is that the whole thing is done in seven months.

The 24-year-old Brit also expressed his distaste for fame:

Kristen is better about dealing with photographers than I am. I’ve learned to let it go a bit, but I’m still really bothered by it. The more you are exposed, the more people irrationally hate you.

Yes, people. It’s irrational to hate a foreigner who gets paid millions by Hollywood to pretend to be a vampire while the rest of America’s unemployed stab each other in the eye for a chance to be a sandwich artist at Subway.

Pattinson’s only other starring role to date has been in Summit Entertainment’s Remember Me which grossed a not so sparkling $19 million in the U.S.  and a total of $27 million worldwide.