A drunk man attending the fifth annual Star Wars Celebration in Orlando, Florida this weekend discovered that Adrianne Curry’s vagina was not the one he was looking for when the 27-year-old fashion model and Cos-play enthusiast had him arrested for attempting to finger her Sarlacc Pit without consent or modeling job offer.

According to Curry, the tipsy assailant reached underneath her Slave Leia robes to molest her with his keys in hand, leaving her vaginal area with cuts and bruises. Curry’s entourage quickly subdued the drunk by cracking his head against the pavement five times while Curry spat on him and called the cops.

Curry tweeted:

waiting4an hour &a half 4 cops 2 show up at orlando4 a drunk man who reached up my skirt&molested me..then tried2drive drunk away.thanks …
– cops are here..molesting pervert drunk in the back of their car.

FYI, I not only elbowed the guy in the face, I spit on him , screamed, and my friends cracked his head on the pavement more than 5 times

I am ok, have some bruising downstairs and a cut, cause i think he had his keys in his hand when he did it…but I am ok.

Man, oh, man. Curry’s hubby Peter Brady isn’t going to be happy about having his prized Podracer keyed. But, really, I’m sure the randy drunk didn’t mean to stab Curry’s twat with his house keys. Those Wookie costumes don’t have any pockets.

So, if we can learn something from this ugly incident, it is most likely that, when trying to get frisky at a Star Wars convention, we should always wear a costume with enough pockets to hold our keys, roofies, and duct tape. Something like an X-Wing Pilot’s outfit, or maybe Boba Fett (I think he’s sports cargo pants, right?).

To see photos of Curry engaged in Star Wars Cos-Play, go here and here.

A Nightmare on Elm Street’s Rooney Mara has landed Hollywood’s latest dream gig. The 25-year-old actress has been cast to play emotionally-disturbed hacker-punk Lisbeth Salander in Columbia Pictures’ upcoming adaptation of late Swedish author Stieg Larsson’s bestselling novel “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.” The film, directed by David Fincher, costars Daniel Craig in the role of journalist Mikael Blomkvist and begins to shoot next month in Sweden.

Columbia Pictures will also adapt Larsson’s “The Girl Who Played with Fire” and “The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest.” Collectively known as the Millennium Trilogy, the novels have sold over 40 million copies worldwide. No word yet on whether Fincher will direct the sequels. Mara and Craig, however, do have options in their contracts to reprise their roles.

Mara reportedly beat out Sophie Lowe (The Clinic), Sarah Snook (Sleeping Beauty), French actress Lea Seydoux (Inglourious Basterds), and Emily Browning (Sucker Punch) for the part. Her recent collaboration with Fincher on his upcoming Facebook flick The Social Network is believed to have given her the edge over the others.

Larrson, a journalist and political activist, died of a heart attack at the age 50 in 2004, just before his Millennium books were published (ain’t that a bitch). According to his longtime live-in girlfriend Eva Gabrielsson, Larrson left behind pages to his an unfinished fourth book in the series.

If you think reading is for nerds and can’t wait to see Fincher’s film, you can catch the Swedish film adaptations of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and The Girl Who Played with Fire now. The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest is slated for limited theatrical release in October.

Aspiring actress Laura Surrich first caught our interest this year as an uncredited slave girl in Starz’s scandalous new swords-and-sandals series “Spartacus: Blood and Sand.” Much like Tom Hanks in Cast Away, she held the screen without ever speaking a word of dialogue, relying instead on the universal language of naked boobies to capture her character’s aura.

This month, Surrich returns to our TV screens in writer/director Jason Stutter’s direct-to-DVD horror comedy Diagnosis: Death. The film follows terminally ill English teacher Andre Chang (Raybon Kan) as he subjects himself to experiments in a drug-testing facility previously used as an asylum.

Surrich plays a sexy, morally-challenged one-night stand named Tawny. The part is a speaking role and, yes, includes a sex scene (Yay!).

Surrich tells Clatto exclusively:

I think movie fans will like the quirky humor and different storyline.

My scene was I had just been on a date with Andre. We had met online and it was all about him trying to get into bed with me by taking me out to a lavish dinner. Tawny isn’t all about morals so it ends up with Andre getting what he was after.

Along with Surrich, Diagnosis: Death stars Bret McKenzie, Rhys Darby, and Jemaine Clement, better known collectively as the leads in HBO’s love-it-or-hate-it “Flight of the Conchords.” To see a short clip of Surrich’s performance in the film, check out her promo reel here.

You can read  Clatto’s exclusive interview with Laura Surrich here. And, don’t forget to read about Surrich and Lucy Lawless’ extended orgy scene in the upcoming DVD/ Blu-ray release of “Spartacus: Blood and Sand.”

Diagnosis: Death is available now on DVD and Blu-ray disc.

George Lucas announced today that the Star Wars Saga (all six films) will finally be released on Blu-ray disc in the fall of 2011. The news was revealed to over 30,000 fans this morning at the fifth annual Star Wars Celebration taking place in Orlando, Florida.

Billed as the Main Event, Lucas was joined onstage by Mark Hamill (Luke Skywalker) and Carrie Fisher (Princess Leia) during a special Q&A session with Comedy Central player—and noted Star Wars fan—Jon Stewart to premiere never-before-seen footage from 1983’s Return of the Jedi, to be included in the upcoming Blu-ray.

Take a look (courtesy of bootleg vid):

Hamill told fans:

This is my original entrance into the film Return of the Jedi. It was a bit ominous, and was meant to make fans wonder until that Green lightsaber turned on, whether he’d join his father on the darkside or not.

Lucas didn’t reveal much more about the Blu-ray, but did say it would include more deleted scenes, documentaries, and surprises.

Star Wars Celebration V runs through Sunday. Check out some of the convention floor fun in the gallery below:

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The excitement over director Alexandre Aja’s fish-&-chicks frightener Piranha 3-D is reaching a frenzied state. Baited by Aja’s promise of gut-wrenching gore, frivolous nudity, and girl-on-girl action from glamor model/actress Kelly Brook and porn star Riley Steele, moviegoers are expected to turn out in droves schools when the film opens next week.

But, when the popcorn is gone and the floor is littered with candy wrappers and that sticky stuff guys tell their dates moms is just spilled soda, will anyone stay seated for the credits to find out exactly who topless chick #24 was?

Yea, I didn’t think so.

Fortunately, photos of these fresh-off-the-bus, SAG-card-seeking actress wannabes have hit the net (see below), guaranteeing that their bold career choices will forever be appreciated by chronic masturbators everywhere. That may not be fame and fortune, but it’s definitely God’s work.

To see more bikini-clad background babes go here and here. To see 9-minutes of uncensored Piranha 3-D footage, go here.

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This is Oscar-winning actress Hilary Swank showing off her tight bikini-clad bod while vacationing in Hawaii. If your penis is feeling confused, just relax. For years Hollywood has exploited Swank’s toothy smile and Boys Don’t Cry hairdos to get inspirational movies made about butch-looking female role models.

But, if you’re internet stalking paying attention, you’ll notice that Swank—when not baiting the Academy—occasionally lets her hair down to do sexy photo shoots and horror flicks. Her creds include The Reaping, The Black Dahlia, The Core, The Gift, and Hammer Films’ upcoming thriller The Resident. She is also set to star in John Carpenter’s Fangland.

Enjoy:

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Anchor Bay Entertainment has released two preview clips to promote the upcoming DVD/Blu-ray release of director Michael Feifer’s low-budget thriller Abandoned, available Aug. 24. The film marks the final performance of late actress Brittany Murphy, who met her unfortunate demise last Christmas at the age of 32.

Abandoned stars Murphy as a woman frantically trying to find her boyfriend after he disappears from a hospital during a routine procedure. The film costars Dean Cain (”Lois & Clark”), Kristen Kerr (Flight of the Living Dead: Outbreak on a Plane), and busty straight-to-DVD queen Mimi Rogers (Penny Dreadful).

Murphy’s genre creds include last year’s Deadline opposite Thora Birch, Robert Rodriguez’s Sin City, the Michael Douglas vehicle Don’t Say a Word, The Prophecy 2 with the great Christopher Walken, and the-yet-to-be-released Something Wicked.

Planning next year’s summer vacation? Why not save up your druggats and book a Star Tours Getaway Package at Disneyland and Disney World! The happiest place on earth has joined forces with Lucasfilms to revamp the theme parks’ Star Tours attraction, first introduced in 1987 as part of Tomorrowland.

A commercial for the upcoming Star Tours: the Adventures Continue was premiered at the Star Wars Celebration V convention this week in Orlando, Florida. The promo teases trips to Bespin’s Cloud City, the forest moon of Endor, and Princess Leia’s home planet of Alderaan, voted the safest place in the galaxy.

Take a look:

The new Star Tours attraction will feature a variety of updated visual effects and be presented in 3-D much like the recently unveiled King Kong ride at Universal Studios Hollywood.

Of course, before booking any trip to the Star Wars galaxy, it’s highly recommended that one take the time to check the weather conditions on any given planet. To do so, go here.

IFC Films has released the first official trailer to French director Gasper Noe’s techno-ghost-story Enter the Void. The film marks Noe’s return behind the camera since directing Spanish actress Monica Bellucci in Irreversible, arguably the best piece of ass-rape cinema ever.

The film stars Nathanial Brown and Paz de la Huerta as siblings left to look out for each other after the murder of their parents. While there isn’t a hint of sodomy in the trailer, there are slutty strippers and strobe lights!

Take a look:

The film’s official synopsis reads:

In ENTER THE VOID, a young man desperately tries to be the guardian for his younger sister after the murder of their parents, but he soon realizes that he is dying. This ambitious drama from Gaspar Noe (IRREVERSIBLE) goes beyond simply showing the waking mind of its hero; instead, the audience gets a glimpse of his dreams and his near-death experiences.

I’m not sure how I feel about Noe’s return to filmmaking. While I’m curious to see how he follows up Bellucci’s 9-minute butt-rape-on-a-subway-tunnel-floor in Irreversible, I can’t help but think he should have retired his camera, fulfilled by the knowledge that he shot the Citizen Kane of nude scenes eight years ago.

British model/actress Kelly Brook will soon be showing off her shepherd’s pie in the September issue of Playboy magazine, available Aug. 16. The 30-year-old starlet is featured on the cover (pictured above) and in an eight-page nude pictorial.

Brook tells Playboy:

I was a little self-conscious about the shoot because I look at the other girls in the magazine and they’re just so perfect. I’m not 20 anymore – my boobs are real, and they even hang a little.

To celebrate her Playboy debut, Brook let it all hang out at a lingerie party thrown in her honor at the Playboy mansion (photos of her on the way to shindig can be seen below).

Brook and her 32-E’s can also be seen swimming nude with porn star Riley Steele in Dimension Films’ summer frightener Piranha 3-D, in theaters Aug. 20.

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