Bloggers and people with vaginas never have anything nice to say about “Hills” star Heidi Montag. But, here at Clatto, we are extremely supportive of women who set out to improve themselves through plastic surgery and starvation.

That is why I am thrilled to write about Montag’s plans to produce what could be the greatest horror-comedy of all time, a lifeguard vs. shark 3-D spectacular based on her very own script.

Montag describes the project to People magazine:

I am making the first 3-D beach comedy about a shark that attacks a small beach town and I save the day with my 3-D boobs. I’ve even written a role for Dolly Parton to play the town mayor!

Finally, someone who knows how to utilize 3-D technology to produce the kind of stuff we want to see!